Why Girls and Guys Can't Be Friends

It struck me today that girls and guys can't be friends. That is just a fact. I tried to come up with scenarios where it would work and I could shoot holes through every scenario. First I thought, well if the guy is in a monogamous relationship (ie married or seriously dating) then you can be friends with him, no problem. But as I dug deeper I found an example where it doesn't work. It doesn't work if the guy is married because the wife is always jealous of the "girl friend" that her husband has. It also doesn't work because at some point, you will begin to consider your attached male companion as something other than a friend (and most likely he will consider it at some point too) and that could cause all sorts of wierd lines to be crossed. Or in my situation, you will have a crush on a guy and find out months later after you have been talking to him that he is married. Not a good situation because part of you will always have a crush on him because when the crush began, you thought he was unattached.

You may ask why I chose to write about this topic. It all started with an email from a friend, we will call him Ben. Ben and I went out a few times about a year ago and I decided that he wasn't right for me. Now looking back, I realize that it just wasn't the right time. So after I called it off, there were lots of times that we ran into each other and had those awkward conversations and then move on. Several months passed and we saw each other again and by this point, I thought it had been long enough that we could move into the friend category. So, we emailed back and forth and talked when we saw each other. Then I started thinking that maybe I judged him too quickly and should give it another chance. So I began to consider the possibility of being more than friends and he seemed to hint that he would be interested in going down that path again. So this weekend we had a quite enjoyable Sunday until he asked another girl for her number right in front of me. I was shocked (and justifiably so according to my married co-workers who said that they would never rule out a potential date unless they really thought of them as a "sister"). Then he had the gaul to ask if he left her number in my car. Being the nice "friend", I checked the car and found no such paper and offered to look up the girl's email (which I already had). Thinking that he might respond to the part of my email that said I had a good time this weekend or the part that wished him a fun weekend out of town. Instead, he responded "Yeah, that would be great if you could find her email". What! So prompted my deep thoughts on the fact that women and men cannot be friends. There are always ulterior motives.

Maybe just maybe if you went with the guy a long time ago and A)never kissed,etc or B)Dated, realized you weren't right for each other, and had a long time before you conversed, THEN men and women can be friends. I think I have a few guy friends that fall in category A but I don't talk to anyone that I had a relationship with so that rules out category B for me personally. Category A is even hard because most of those guys fall in the "now married" category and in general wives don't take too well to their husbands catching up with their good girl friends from college. And that leads once again to the conclusion that men and women can't be friends.

Another Movie Review

Seems like my blog may turn into a review of things that I see/do or places that I go.
This weekend I saw The Sentinel. Going into the movie, I didn't know much about it other than Eva Longoria was in it. The movie seems familar in that it is about a Secret Service agent who has been accused of plotting against the President, only they have the wrong agent, and he has to set out to prove his innocence. It sounds like The Fugitive - maybe that is why I kept picturing Harrison Ford in Michael Douglas' role. This is a "been there, done that" storline however you can't go wrong with a story centered around Washington, the White House, and the President. Or at least, I can't go wrong. There is an excellent cast - Kiefer Sutherland, Michael Douglas, Kim Basinger, and Evan Longoria barely rounds out the top billing group. Eva's roll is small but she proves that she is more than a Desparate Housewife.

While I am giving reviews, I give Strip, the new sushi/steakhouse in Atlantic Station, 2 thumbs up. I ate sushi so I was able to go right in and forego the 1.5 hr wait downstairs to sit at a booth. The atmosphere was very New York. It was loud downstairs but the volume and atmoshere was just right on the 2nd floor. They also have a nice outside patio on the 3rd floor that looks cozy - this will definitely be a hot spot for summer 2006. I recommend this restaraunt for a first date - if you order sushi because it is a little quiter then you can head up to the 3rd floor or 2nd floor balcony for drinks. Here is the opening PR for the restaurant.

The Hottest Ticket in Sports...

Sunday at the Masters. The Masters is everything you dream that it will be - beautiful course, golf drama, good sportsmanship, class, quiet golf claps and whispers by the patrons, slick greens, perfectly groommed, perfect weather, and a tasty chicken sandwich for $2.50. You knew that Phil Mickelson owned this weekend - you could see it in his easy smile and his standard saunter up the fairway. Phil had the magic this week and his putts fell and his tee shots were straight and no one could stop him - but it was sure fun to watch them all try (Couples, Singh, Goosen, Woods, Clark, Mediate). Maybe next year...
Hole #12 Tiger on the driving range. Augusta native Vaughn Taylor on 16. The official scoreboard.

LOST - 4 8 15 16 23 42

Lost is either the greatest show on TV right now or the worst. I am addicted to the show like all of my co-workers. We debrief the show every Thurs after a new episode airs on Wed - the producers need to start airing more new episodes by the way. With each new episode more questions are posed and a few questions are answered. There are so many storylines going on that it is hard to keep up with all of the nuisances that go on in each show. It is easy to miss the little "clues" that pop up in each show.

I do like some of the back stories better than others - Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Locke. I don't really care about Charlie and his drug problems or Hurley and the lottery or Sun and Jin and their marital problems. The best story lines revolve around Jack, Kate, Sawyer, and Locke and I even like Mr Echo from the back of the plane. Ana Luica is also interesting but I think her character makes you not like her and the fact that she got a DUI and denied while on the set.

In case you need something to discuss around the water cooler, the newest mystery on the show is the map that was drawn on the doors that came down and trapped Locke. Here is a good link to the map.

Movie Reviews

I have seen a few movies lately that I thought I would report on...

Failure to Launch - 3 stars
This movie is pretty much what you expect it to be. You go to this movie because you know it is a "cute" love story and that in the end Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parket will end up together. You don't go to this movie to stretch your mind or to come away with some new thought to ponder. It is a feel good movie that gives you hope in "love" and "happily ever after". The movie is on the shorter sign and has a few wierd scenes where one of the characters is bitten by a chipmunk, bird, dolphin, and maybe on other animal - kind of wierd.

End of the Spear - 2 stars
I was expecting more out of this movie since it was about missionaries in Equador. I thought the religious exponent of the story line would be more of a prominent theme but instead the relationship between the missionary's son and the tribe leader seemed to be the central story. This movie was also on the shorter side and I think the storyline could have gone in more detail instead of glossing over the 10-20 years betweeen when the tribe was first contacted by the missionaries and how they evolved into accepting the Christian religion. This movie opens it up for good conversation after you go to see it. It is also interesting to get a view of life in the jungles of Equador.

Pride and Prejudice - 4 stars
I loved this movie. It had everything a good movie needs - good character development, good storyline and on top of that it is a romantic period-piece set in Georigian England. From the beginning of the movie you want to travel the journey as Lizzy and Mr Darcy fall in love. I enjoyed 1700/1800's setting and the relationships between the 5 sisters and of course the romatic links between Jane and Mr Bingley and Lizzie and Mr Darcy. This movie was definitely Oscar worthy and Keira Knightley gave a memorable performance as the most forward thinking sister. Although the movie helps foster Americans misconception of "love" even more, it is a cute story that makes you "believe in love" and "happy endings". In real life, a man wouldn't ask you to marry him after a few chance convesations and you wouldn't say yes but in this movie that is "romantic" and your marriage won't begin while you both sit on the balcony at your castle while looking over miles and miles of gardens that you own. While things may be happy most of the time, you will always encounter bumps in a relationship and in order for that relationship to grow, those in love must grow and change together. Of course, that doesn't sell movies! A must see movie that opens up the chance for good thought-provoking conversation as the credits roll.

Dearailed - 3 1/2 stars
I am not sure why this movie received such bad ratings and did poorly in the theatre. The only reason I can come up with is because there were such high expecations set on a "Jennifer Aniston" movie and given her personal situation at the time of the release, maybe critics weren't kind. Jennifer Aniston only played a supporting role. Clive Owen was really the main focus of the entire film while Jennifer and Melissa George (you may recognize her as Lauren Reed from Alias) played supporting roles. This movie has a good twist (similar to The Sixth Sense but not near that dramatic, more of a mystery/cops&robbers kind of twist) at the end that catches you off guard. I would say the movie could have been about 10-20 mins shorter and I would have been happy - the ending is sort of dragged out. This is a good rental for a rainy night.

US Debt

I saw this on Yahoo Most View Pictures and thought this is good food for thought. To think each family is responsible for almost $90,000 of the national debt! Good times. See article on yahoo.

St Patty's in Chicago

I know that most of you won't believe it but the river in Chicago really is dyed green for St Patrick's Day. Here is a picture of the river from my recent trip to the Windy City. It was a gorgeous day and we were able to enjoy the parade, walking downtown, and a private room at a local Irish Pub (can you believe that on St Patrick's weekend!). It was a ton of fun, mostly because of the great weather. Looks kind of like powerade or anti-freeze, huh? People have asked, "why is the river already dyed green and it isn't even the 17th?". Well, apparently Chicago always dyes the river green and holds their celebration before St Patrick's Day so since it falls on a Friday this year, all the festivities were the weekend before. No worries, there are still activities on the 17th. Just no green river.

Divorce

Divorce...it is followed by a deathly silence, a sense of shock and disbelief and this sick feeling in your gut. When there are no outside influences and someone all of a sudden tells their mate that they don't love them anymore, there are a lot of questions. How could I be so blind? What will happen in the future? Even though it isn't my divorce, it rocks the whole family unit. It affects everyone and you think about how it was your "last" Christmas together, you think of the "last" time you saw them, the "last" conversation you had - which was a text message where they were giving you love advice. You think about how they comforted you when you went through a horrible break-up. You wonder if they thought through all the things they said to you when you were going through a break-up. When they were comforting me after someone lost their love for me, were they already loosing their love for him? When they said "there must be someone else", you wonder "well, there isn't with you, right?". Did you try to go to counseling? Did you try to work it out? How you could you not? And most importantly, where did the love go? How does is just disappear? How do you just stop loving someone? Divorce...it is hard for all. It tears famlies apart. You can't take sides (not in this case) and you want to reach out to the other side because they have always helped you but not all of a suddent your relationship has been thrown out of balance. A simple phone call to see how they are doing is no longer "simple". After the "hello", you have nothing to say and don't know what to say. You just hope that the words will come. You hope that you will wake up and it will be a bad dream and that everything will be back to normal and everyone is still in love.

Grey's Anatomy

Grey's Anatomy is my favorite show on TV (followed by Lost). The girls at work are addicted to the show and we talk about it every Monday (much like Lost which we talk about every Thursday). What I love about Grey's Anatomy is that there seems to be a new episode every week. Unlike Lost which you never know if it is a repeat, isn't on, or if they are showing the pilot yet again.

So this week's episode was good as always. The introduced Mark aka "Dr McSteamy" - I can do without the nickname but he is good looking. I hope he whisks Addison back to NY so that Derrick is free to get back with Meredith. I do want to hear more details about what made Addison come to Seattle to want Derrick back. Should be an interesting story line. We know that Derrick loves Meredith but he is trying to make it work with his cheating wife. I did love Meredith's charcter and there is good chemistry between Dr McDreamy and Meredith but she may have slumped to an all new low this past week when she slept with George. George is so nice and we all like George and she is going to rip his heart in two. Could she not have just kissed him and then realized that he isn't for her. It isn't like they both agreed that it would be platonic. Next week should be interesting.

I did hear a rumor that one of the interns is going to be killed off. I can't figure out who it will be. Maybe Kereve because his storyline doesn't have a place to go and he did tell Mark that he was interested in plastics so maybe he will transfer to a new hospital. Everyone else has pretty strong storlines.

So if you aren't watching Grey's Anatomy, you need to get on the bandwagon. It is on Sunday's night on ABC at 10pm EST.

How You Know you have been Traveling too Long

Over the last 3 months I have traveled the great southeast (the 9 state region if you will but only went to 4 of the states) for work. Here are a few observations I made while I was traveling.

"How you know you have been traveling too long"

1. You walk around with the most current USA Today. All travelers carry a USA Today because they get it at the hotel free.
2. When the airport security guy smiles at you and you think "we could be friends".
3. When you think walking from the main terminal to Concourse A is "exercising"!
4. When you know which hotel has the best beds and you compare them (currently the Crown Plaza at Sawgrass Mills has the best bed followed by the Hilton Garden in Nashville)
5. When you have to get back to the hotel in time to make the free "drinks" deal (that would be at the Homewood Suites in Charlotte).

My Sister

This week is a year since the "phone call". I will never forget what I was doing, what I was wearing, and where I was when my mom called and said "We are taking your sister to the Emergency Room". From that point, the news only got worse and I felt like I was living someone else's life- someone else's nightmare. I think my way of coping now is to pretend that it happened to someone else. You never expect your life to change in an instance. Feb 16 was just like any other day until the phone call. It is amazing how everything that seems so important in every day life like what is due at work, can all of a sudden become unimportant. How your life, fights, regrets, last conversations can all flash before your eyes. It is indescribible how you feel when the rug has been pulled out from your nice orderly life. I can tell you every moment that happened from the moment I got that call, to leaving work, finding my grandmother at bridge, driving to Athens, being in the Chick Fil A drive through talking to my Dad when my Mom beeps in and tells him that there is bleeding on my sister's brain, how the car couldn't get to the hospital fast enough, how frail my sister looked, how my Mom was trying to be strong and just barely holding it together for my sister, how the pastor came and sat with my family, how they took my sister away for a MRI and when she came back she didn't even remember us being there, how the doctor came in and said that there was something on her brain and that they might have to put a drain in, to my Dad and other sister arriving just in time to make the decision that we needed to fly her to Augusta, how we all caravanned to Augusta while my cousin flew my Mom, how we had to stop at Waffle House so my Dad could eat, how dark the hospital looked when we finally found her room and the news that she would have surgery on Friday. Somehow 2 days didn't seem like enough time to make sure you said everything you wanted to say, just in case. But you couldn't think about "just in case" because you would fall apart. I remember Thursday coming to the hospital to hear the news about surgery and me starting to cry and my sister grabbing my hand and telling me that it would be okay. She shouldn't be comforting me! At that moment I swore to stay strong for her. In front of her, I wouldn't cry. I would comfort her and make her laugh. I would hold her hand for hours while she was awake and while she was asleep. So Friday came and we were all ready but not ready. Not ready to let her go and maybe never see her again. To put my trust in God that she would come out of surgery okay and let him comfort me while I waited. When they rolled her back into the pre-op room, I couldn't hold back and my grandmother comforted me. We sat for 3-4 hrs waiting until my parents came back from pre-op. My Mom was frantic and you could see my parents were worn down. We waited and each minute seemed like an hour. They said they were done - done early, not done early because there was a problem. The good news was that they got all of the tumor. What I wasn't ready for was seeing her after surgery. It is a sight that I wish I could erase from memory. For the next week, we sat and we were together. All fights between us were erased. I was her rock and my Mom's rock. When I had to return to my life, it was hard. It didn't matter that the day of her surgery was the day that I was suppose to move into my first new house. That moment would come a week later and not seem nearly as important as being home and being with family. The hardest part is leaving, being the one to go on while everyone else lives with the rehab and healing. Missing out on her small steps of being able to walk, then walk alone, then getting dressed alone, taking a bath alone. Missing out on the game of giving her the same presents over and over again because she doesn't remember opening them the first time. Missing her getting better, starting to remember. Then at some point life is normal again for me but not normal for the 4 people closest to me. Maybe never normal again for them because I lived through it for a week and they lived with it for months.
American Brain Tumor Association
Brain Tumor Society
National Brain Tumor Foundation
Brain Tumor from Wikipedia

Random Questions

Here are a few random questions that have come up in the course of different conversations. They usually spark some interesting comments and are good to use if the conversation is dying.

1. If you were a baseball player, what song would you want to come out to when they announce that you are batting? - This question of course came up at a Braves game. My answer is "Baby Got Back".

2. What celebrity would you like to beat up? - This came up recently during an Apre Ski moment and my vehement answer of "Angelina Jolie" suprised some of my friends. I think it is because I am a proud member of Team Anistion and can't believe Brad left Jen to be with Angie - yuck! They did point out the Angeline has trained for Laura Croft movies and that she could probably take me down but that isn't the point.

Vail, CO

Wanted to share some photos from my trip to Vail. This is actually Beaver Creek, CO. The skiing was great and it was snowing the whole day we were there. Two of the things I like about Beaver Creek besides the snow where that the signs all showed how far to the bottom (ie 3.3 mi) and the signs were wooden so it looked very Swiss in my opinion.

This is a picture of the Vail Village from the slopes. They say that this year was one of the best ski seasons they have had if not the VERY best. That was good news for us. This is from our last day. We skied some of the back bowls (I think we did the Sundance bowl) and I wish we had tried that earlier in the trip. It was very challenging for us and a ton of fun especially since the moguls were ungroomed. I guess that leaves a reason to go back. I wish I could "Apre Ski" every day and have a beer at Garfinkle's!

Helping our guy friends...

I am traveling this week for work so I have lots of times to post random thoughts on my blog. I have a good core of friends that hang out each week - a good mix of guys and girls. My fellow girl friends and I always discuss why our guy friend's are still single and what they are doing wrong when trying to ask a girl out. So in the interest of helping all mankind (and maybe going out on a good date myself), we thought we would post some insights into what girls are looking for. I know the art of going out for a date on a Friday night where the guy calls and asks the girl out, picks her up, pays for dinner, etc is lost but we would like to get that back. So here are some helpful hints...

1. Call the girl - don't email, call and ask her out. When you just email, she thinks you aren' really that in to her.
2. Be spontaneous on the first date. Do something other than go out to a dinner and see a movie. Some good ides are: go fishing, go to the driving range, go play to the batting cages, go to a concert, go to Screen on the Green, go on a picnic...the key is creativity. Girls like this and will be impressed that you put some thought into it.
3. Ask her out to a place you think she will like (ie her favorite restaurant). The key is to make her feel special. We just want someone that shows interest in us.
4. If you like her, don't wait a week to call her after the first date. Wait maybe 3 days.
5. Girls like when the guy opens the car door for her (well, at least this girl does). It is a sign of respect.
6. This is for you Matt, wear dark jeans (light jeans went out in the 80s)if jeans is a appropriate attire. In fact, throw away all light jeans in your cloest and only wear dark jeans out in public no matter if you are on a date or not!

That's all we ask for. A nice date and someone who acts interested. Hope that helps someone out there.

2006 Things to Do List

In 2004, I decided to create a "Things to Do List" every year. That idea was really born out of the Summer of 1999 when a bunch of us girls lived in Atlanta and decided to have weekly dinners at a new restaurant that we had always wanted to try. It was a good way to get to know the city around us and enjoy all good places to eat. The list started with restaurants to try and has expanded across many areas. The only rule is that whatever is on the list should be something brand new to you so that you are doing something new and enjoying the city around you. So, my 2006 list is a work in progress but this is what I have so far...

Restaurants to try:
Agave - Done
Alfredo's - Done
Six Feet Under - Done
Mosaic
Soleil
Portofino
Misto
McKendrick's
Vino
Pura Vida (Fri nights salsa dancing)
Rathbun's
A new restaurant featured in Atlanta's Restaurant Week - Done, went to 2 restaurants for Restaurant Week (Dailey's and Trader Vic's, also went to a restaurant in DC for their Restaurant Week)

Events to go to:
Steeplechase in Atlanta - missed it
Smyrna Beerfest (this isn't a new to do but it was fun so I have to include it) - missed it but went to the Decatur Winefest for the first time in Nov
Art Walk on the First Thursday - missed because I am on an airplane every Thurs
Cirque Dreams in May - Done, wasn't as good as Cirque but it was cool to go to the Fox and see a singing/crazy stunts event
ACC Tournament in Jacksonville, FL

Goals:
Learn Italian before I go in Sept - I have bought the CDs - didn't learn it, shame on me
Complete a sprint triathalon - moved to the 2007 list along with running a marathon
Take a dance class (Yes, I have been inspired by Dancing with the Stars) - moving to the 2007 list

Movies to see/rent:
Brockback Mountain - Done
Just Like Heaven - Done
Elizabethtown - Started but had to turn off because I wasn't a fan of the coffin scene
End of the Spear - Done
Walk the Line - Done, it was very good
Failure to Launch - Done
Pride and Prejudice - Done, also very good
Derailed - Done, better than the critics gave it credit for
The Break-up - Done
The Sentinel - Done
Talledega Nights
Casino Royale

Trips:
Skiing in Vail - Done
Wedding in Italy (not mine but a friend's) - Done. Very awesome trip. The most gorgeous scenery that I have ever seen.
Beach trip - Done (Destin, FL and Ocean Isle)
Skiing in Chile (this may move to my '07 list, it has been a rollover since '04!) - Moving to 2007 Bed in Breakfast at Lookout Mtn - Not going to do, but am going to a Bed and Breakfast in Hendersonville, NC for a wedding in Dec