How Can We Be Lovers... - #31

...If we can't be friends. This doesn't exactly go with my topic, it is more like "how can we be friends, if we can't date" or "how can you expect to be friends, when you can't work things out". So this is my first attempt in a long time to be friends with the guy I dated. I am friends with lots of guys that I have dated but most of them I dated a long time ago and now we are friends and we only went out a few times and I was probably the one that wasn't into them and therefore not as upset about it ending.

Anyway, I am trying to be friends with someone I dated and it is hard because we recently dated - as in 2 weeks ago we stopped dating. And he wants to be friends. I want to be friends too but I think we gave up on the whole dating thing a little too early. I felt like I (and he) had been out of the dating game for awhile so when we talked about the problem instead of just saying we are done, I wanted to figure out how to make it work. But instead, we are friends and I am seeing how that goes.

Honestly I am a mad at him for giving up in my opinion. Sure the result may be the same in another month or another 6 months so you can argue that it is better just to call it now and try to keep the friendship. But, in any relationahip you have to work at it. You have to work to be friends, you have to work to date. When something doesn't work, you try again.

And of course I feel like I am the one the blame and think "what could I have done differently". Maybe I shouldn't have held back as much as I did and maybe I should have given more and not let my job make me Miss Debbie Downer. I think "what happened to the person/people we were when it began". Those 2 people got along, those 2 people wanted to be together. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be.

So now I am trying to be the friend but a little part of me can't help but get excited when we talk and when we email. So maybe time does need to pass before we can be friends. I don't know what will happen - stay tuned.

NOTE - I realized after writing this that it is almost identical in ideas to my #23 post. Interestingly the 2 posts are about 2 different people about 3-4 months apart. The first situation, I think I knew we wouldn't be friends it was just going through the motions to say that we would. The 2nd one, we have have more invested and I think we may really try to be friends. Thought it was funny to see this come back again.

NOTE 2 - I am reading this now after 2 months of the post sitting in my queue to post and think "my how my opinions change with time". Are we friends now...well, sort of. Do I wish we were dating and had worked at it...well, no. Time bring perspective to a situation and helps you see things that may have been blurry when you were in the midst of the situation.