A co-worker and I were discussing dating this week and came up with a list of red flags for dating and once you have moved into the relationship. And while neither of us have been married, we know some things that could be very damaging once married if you don't pick up on them before you get married. So in no particular order and mixed together, here are the flags (ie the things you should stay away from):
1. Be of the opposite sex (as in if you aren't of the opposite sex then it is a red flag)
2. Smoking
3. Have a crazy religion (individual's can define this on their own)
4. Short (too short for a girl and not tall enough of a guy)
5. Bad teeth (sure you can fix this but if they haven't noticed by now, they don't care about dental hygiene)
6a. If your date/boyfriend/girlfriend tends to morph into you. In other words, their likes are now your likes and they don't seem to have their own individual likes. From the movie Runaway Bride, know the kind of eggs that you like don't just like scrambled eggs because I do.
6b. In a relationship, if you are always doing what one person wants then that is bad. Have your own likes and don't follow what he/she wants to do. Stand up for what you believe in and like to do. It is fine to do things you don't like because the other person likes to do them but don't give up your personality for the sake of them. This is similar to #6a so I put them together.
7. Beware of folks that seem to have a hidden side. You don't want to marry them and find out that this whole time they were hiding something from you or didn't disclose everything. This is tricky to identify so just be on the look out for strange behavior.
8. They are an only child - only children seem to be selfish so just beware. On a related note, if they have a crazy family or seem extra attached to their family/siblings then try to digger deeper about what is causing that connection and see if you want to be a part of it. It is always good to ask "Do I want these people to be my child's grandparents, aunts, and uncles?"
9. Overweight- at this age, we should be in the best shape of our life and should eat/exercise like it
10. You don't want to eat breakfast with them for the rest of your life (ie you can't imagine waking up to them everyday and having to talk to them at breakfast).
I will end on 10 because it is a nice round number. I may add more later but that is all for now.
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