Butterflies - Dating Commentary #24

I am looking for those butterflies. I think they define the X factor in the relationship, the chemistry. I know when I get them because my stomach starts to hurt, my heart begins to beat faster, and I think I may get flushed. I use to think that you had to feel those butterflies immediately because that it how it was with my first love. But I have learned that butterflies can develop. For instance, I didn't even give a recent interest a second look when I first met him. But after being friends for awhile and hanging out in social situations and then after a few frates and then a few dates, I got the butterflies. I got nervous when I called him. So the butterflies were starting when we put the brakes on the whole thing. But you do have to be careful to make sure the butterflies are true and not just the chase factor which it may have been in this case. Also, an old flame can generate those butterflies but I think that is probably due the stress they caused in your life at some point:)

So I am looking for those butterflies. Will they come right away and be instant "love or first sight" or will one day I look at a friend or a guy I have been dating and my heart will skip a beat?

Psychology of Facebook

Facebook has been a topic of many of my conversations lately and also something I spent too much time on so I thought I would pause my dating commentary to talk about the Psychology of Facebook. I am fascinated with social networking so this is an interesting topic to me.

First, Facebook breeds stalking. This takes several forms - first is the "friend stalking". You track your friends, their status, their pictures, what they are doing. You don't even have to have a conversation with your friends you can just ask "How was NY" even though the only reason you know they went to NY was because of their status update. Weird, huh?

There is also "I-want-to-be-your-friend stalking". These are the people that you may have met and one of you friended the other on Facebook. You want to get to know these people better so you track what they are doing from afar. They don't know you check their page and that you know what they are up to. This is also known as "creepy stalking".

There is "tantalizing stalking". This is when you post something on purpose in hopes that someone will see the picture, your status, your comment, etc. You want people to know what a great weekend you had or the cool thing that you did or you want people to see how good you looked last weekend. You aren’t just posting things so your friends know what you are up to - you are posting in hopes that a specific friend will check out what you are up to.

There is also "stalking your stalker". This is when you install a program that tracks who visits your page. For instance, you can load StatCounter on your page and it will show all the IPs and their locations across the globe that have visited your page. So you are seeing who is checking out your page.

Seems like society today is breeding stalkers and Facebook is encouraging it. You have to stalk or be stalked...welcome to social networking.

Said What I Needed to Say - Dating Commentary #23

So I have said my peace - maybe not all that I wanted to say but I did have my 3 key points. I still walked away with a few questions but maybe they didn't matter. My advice in dating and life is to have good communications, avoid the drama when possible, and be honest. It may be hard to be honest but there is a line between hurting feelings and keeping hope alive about a relationship so you should make sure that is clear so one person doesn't leave with one message while the other person thought they delivered another message. It will be interesting to see how this turns out - to be friends or not? hang out or not? I don't have a crystal ball so we will see!

Seedling - Dating Commentary #22

As a tribute to my guy friend GameShow, here are his thoughts on dating after reading my blog. This is printed with permission:)

"I think of dating a lot like the life of a seedling. So many things can knock it down: wind, rain, blight, feet, etc. Only a percentage of them actually put down healthy roots and grow into mature trees. But then again, what do I know? I’m single – and a guy to boot"

Done and Done - Dating Commentary #21

This could also be titled "Clue phone, it is for me" or "He is just not into you where have you been". So it has taken me awhile and maybe it has been because I have been out of the dating pool for awhile but I am done with the game. Mr X called earlier to "checkin", whatever that means. No mention of hanging out - more just asking what I was up to and then telling me what he is doing (none of which included me). Needless to say I am done. I have been debating on whether we need to have a convo about it - get the feelings out there, be honest, no drama, short and sweet. But why, I am deciding that I am done with the situation. Done and done!