Hopeless Romantic - Dating Commentary #15

Last night I was out and about with a few friends (well one friend and 3 of her friends). We were at one of the usual spots and I would say I had a "romantic movie" moment. It doesn't take much guys - just be bold and confident!

My group ran into some people they knew and everyone was doing introductions but I was standing a little off to the side because it was crowded and we were in a group of 5 so it was hard to have a conversation. I made eye contact with the one guy who had done introductions but skipped me since I was outside the circle. So he boldly says "What's your name?" and grabs my hand and pulls me through the circle closer to him. Now I had already decided this guy was cute and I am guessing my eyes already conveyed that message, otherwise this might be creapy. We chatted after that but I was quite impressed by his boldness and he even planted one on my cheek and complimented me. So of course I was taken by this and in a sense "swept off my feet" for but a moment. We will see if this leads anywhere but for a moment I remembered what it was like to feel special and it reminded me that I want this always so I shouldn't settle. So thanks to Mr Pull-Me-Through-the-Crowd for making my heart skip a beat and have a movie moment. I hope to meet you again!

Update to this story (as it was months ago) - Found out this guy was engaged. Guys are creeps! But I had the movie moment and it was fun to talk about.

He's Not Into You...Wait - Dating Commentary #14

Just when I was ready to write off my dating friend as not being into me, he calls. Of course he does and the odd thing is that it is a Sat night and he could have call all week long to check in how I was doing. Why are you checking in if you aren't interested, I think? Then I think, why aren't you asking me out while you are calling me so maybe you aren't interested. So I am confused. I am not good at this casual dating thing. When I decide that I am interested in someone then I want to make room for them in my life. And I have a busy life. So it isn't that I want to see you every day but once on the weekend would be nice - even if it is an hr to grab coffeee. I want to make that room for you. Does everyone think like this? Or is this is a new stage of dating that I have to get through to get to expect to see the other person regularly? Are their rules to this crazy dating dance!

She's Not With Him - Dating Commentary #13

Last night I went out with some guy friends and I tried to get some insider informaion on how guys think. They confirmed that it is a very shallow pool to tread in when I inquired that I wanted to take a deep dive into the thoughts of guys. They did reveal one tidbit - not sure if this is universal guy thing or just these fellows. Anyway, they said that when they see a girl with a guy, they automatically assume that the guy and girl are not together. I found this interesting because I automatically assume the opposite - if they are out together then the guy and girl must be together.

This topic was brought up because I said I didn't think a guy and girl could be wingmen/wingwomen for each other because they would look like they were together. My guy friends think to the contrary. This is another example of how differently we all think - no wonder both sides are always confused.

Last Word - Dating Commentary #12

Enough about my dating woes, I want to share some trials and tribulations and questions of others. A friend recently went out with a guy on a few dates (like 8). Things were going well but then he was acting wierd one weekend. After a series of conversations, she sent a text that says "I think it is better off we are just friends." (The fact that she sent a text is a whole other blog topic). No sooner has she sent it than he replies "Yes, I couldn't agree more." It is like he had to have the last word and make it seem like "Oh, yeah I had already thought of that." A simple "ok" or "sure" or "I agree" would have sufficed but no he had to have the last word and stab the knife in a little deeper. Men!

No End - Dating Commentary #11

In this new world of dating, I think people rather just let things trail off than officially end them. I have been inspired by John Mayer's song "Say" which says to "Say what you need to say.". I want to know if we are friends or more. I want to have that difficult conversation. I don't like the in between and the not knowing. I don't want to be the one who you call when you need someone to hang out with or be the one you call if your first plan doesn't work out - I want to be who you want to hang out with and spend time with.

I know it is difficult to have the conversation but once you have gone on a few dates, I think you owe the other person to at least tell them that you aren't interested. And not by text or over email - it should be done either on the phone or in person. For me, I just want to know where the line is and may be I can't interpret the "He is just not into you" signs or I am in denial. But I am asking, how hard is it to just "say what you need to say."?

To Be Friends or Not - Dating Commentary #10

I almost titled this blog "The Art of Mixed Signals". I can understand it, I am probably doing it. I recently went out and when I got home the SATC episode where Carrie and Adian are out on a date is on and throughout the episode she thinks "We are friends" then "No, this is a date". That is the story of my life. I had just gone out and I had the same thoughts throughout the night. Did I want it to be a date - yes. Do I think it was a date - I have no idea.

So right now I just want to know - are we going to be friends or date. I just want to know that at the end of the night, I should expect a pat on the back or a kiss.

I was explaining my mixed signals to a group of girl friends and one guy. The guy told the story of how he was playing the game with his current girlfriend and she finally called him out and said "What is going on?" and he said "Well, I want to be friends" and her reply was "We were never friends to start with so either we are dating or we are nothing." In my case, I was friends first and I think we are at the fork in the road where it could go either way. I just want to know because I don't want to think we might go out this weekend and be disappointed that we don't.