"Date" by Wikipedia - Dating Commentary #9

On my question for defining "dating" or what a "date" is, I have finally turned to the source of all information - Wikipedia. There is a good page of information in dating on Wikipedia, some of which is kind of funny. Here is a quick excerpt:

Dating is any social activity performed as a pair or even a group with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as their partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. The word refers to the act of agreeing on a time and "date" when a pair can meet and engage in some social activity.

I don't think Wikipedia has led me any closer to defining a date but thought I would give it a shot. A date does involve a pair assessing someone's suitablity to be a partner but really that is the journey of dating and not just a single date. When I go on a date, I am not constantly assessing the suitability, I am enjoying the time I have with the other person and getting to know them. It is only after the date that I start to analyze it all:) Or if it is a bad date, I have already moved on from the analysis stage and started figuring out an exit strategy!

Bennies - Dating Commentary #8.5

I had to interrupt my scheduled commentaries so share a new term that my co-worker came up with today when we were discussing dating, frating, etc. When I asked him if the girl he went to a wedding with was a friend or more, he said "it was bennies". For those that need a definition, "bennies" is "friends with benefits". So we had quite the conversation about frates and bennies - anyone listening would have thought we were talking in another language. Now we will be asking if you are going out with Benny or Betty(the closest we could get to "benefits" for a girl name) to know what kind of date it is. Just to be clear here are some uses:

Are you going out with Benny this weekend?
Was that date a bennie?
That date was so bennie.
So was that a date? It was a bennie.
Is that your friend, date, frate, or bennie?
I've been out on some frates and bennies.

Maybe you had to be there but I just wanted to share another word that we have added to the pop culture dating dictionary - use and enjoy!

I'm A Planner - Dating Commentary #8

I am a planner. I have a very busy life and like to have things scheduled. I usually have a packed weekend of activities - sometimes to the point that I just wanted to "schedule" a night at home. So when it comes to dating, I want to go ahead and know that I have a date on Friday night or Sat night. But it seems that guys are not planners - or at least not the guys I am interested in. I had one say to me "as usual last minute planning...". Why does it have to be last minute? You like me, I like you, let's make a plan and go out. I am all for fly by the seat of my pants and do something crazy, unusual and not plan but when it comes to "a date", just "one date", can we not plan that? I am all for exciting, spur of the moment, "let's do x" but I just want to know that one night this weekend, I will see you and it will be a date. The rest of the weekend, we can do our own things and have other planned activities but if I am interested in you, I would like to see you and maybe sometime in the future those other planned activities will include you.

10 love lessons across the US by TB Lynam

This is an interesting/insightful article about a writer who traveled across the US doing internet dating. Read what she found during her quest here.

Frate - Dating Commentary #7

Frate is my new term for the "Friend Date". Are you on a date or are you on a frate? I was asking myself that last night after I got home from what I thought was a date but by the end of the night, I thought it might be a frate. It didn't help to turn on an SATC re-run and have Carrie ponder the same thing about her relationship with Aiden. There was a whole set of scences that showed them doing something and she would think 'this is a date' and then 'no, he thinks I am his friend'. As I played the evening in my head, I think I had more friend encounters but given the context of the situation, I thought it was a date. I know I am being vague - purposefully though.

I read an article recently and it was about how women just really want to be pursued by men. Sure in this day and age it is acceptable to ask men out, pay for dinner, and even call the guy first. But at the end of the day, I rather the guy call me and ask me out and call me first. The article referenced the famous Jane Eyre and Pride and Prejudice books and what made the title male character win the female as their passion and the way they put it on the line for their women. Of course it doesn't always work out but where is the reward with no risk? I want to be pursued and I don't want to question if it was a date, I want to know. I don't want to be one of a few women you are seeing, I want to the one you choose to see. Is that too much to ask?

***All ideas on this blog are my own and should not be copied in any format.***

SHE is just not that into you - or is she? article

My friend sent me this article and I think it is summed up well near the end where it says dating is confusing! Thank you! It is and it goes on to say with all the technology available to us and all the different personalities that just makes matters worse because everyone has different signals and because men need decoder rings to figure us women out!

Check out "She's Just Not That Into You - Or Is She?" by Sarah Jio.

Beautiful Women, Supportive Husbands - Dating Commentary #6

Article on AOL.

Andy's Definion of a Date - Dating Commentary #5

In a recent conversation, a friend of a friend was defining a "date" for me. He said a date is when a guy asks a girl out, picks her up, opens the door and pays for dinner. I let him know that that must be the "southern" definition of a date because folks from up North didn't do that. His response - "You are going out with the wrong people". Touché!