Boys are Dumb - Dating Commentary #4

Day X of my Dating Dilemnas blog. This weekend, I was talking to my guy friend who I am in this dating limbo with (see non-date date blog). Anyway, we are talking and I am joking about my one-and-done philosophy and how I can't seem to get past the first date because I usually find something that annoys me. I actually think this is more my problem than the guys but I am working on it and trying to keep interest past the first date. In fact, I reread one of my old blogs about trying to be friends first and seeing what happens and that is exactly what I am trying to do here. Anyway, in response to my one-and-done comment he says "Well, I haven't been on any dates in awhile..." So of course, I think back to our non-date date and have now gotten confirmation that he didn't think it was a date even though it met my criteria of "If boy pays, it is a date." So one of us is clueless, I am beginning to think it is me. Maybe he thought it was a date but he didn't think I thought it was a date because of my one-and-done comment. Since we are friends, maybe we don't want to mess with the balance so it is easier to test the waters with these offhanded comments.

This also reminds me of a cartoon a friend told me about this weekend. A girl and guy are ending their date and both are sitting in the car and talking about how they have been dating for 3 months. The girl then starts to think about how she shouldn't have said something so she is getting all worked up while the guy is thinking about how he needs to get his oil changed because it has been 3 months since he last did it. Just goes to show we women are always overanalyzing and really we shouldn't think much past the words we actually hear.

One and done! - Dating Commentary #3

I have been on several non-date dates lately. Maybe that is best for me because when I start thinking it is a date or I really like the person, I get overly nervous, overly critical and I don't enjoy it. I think I have learned I need to ease into dating and not put so much pressure on myself and the other person. If we go out and have fun, go out again. If they have an annoying habit, ignore it because the habit was always there and you may have just noticed it when you went out and began to be critical of their every move. Enjoy it - that is what dating is about. I think we women go wrong when we go out on one date (or maybe just thinking about the upcoming date) and we start to picture white dresses and how our new name would sound like. It is just a date, that doesn't mean you are getting married!

First Date? - Dating Commentary #2

What makes up a first date? I was recently out with a friend and we struck up a conversation with our neighbor at the bar. Later in the evening after a couple of beers and light conversation with our new friend, he says "Our guess is that you guys are on your first date." At the time, I laughed it off because I wasn't even sure if it was a date (more on that later). But afterwards, I pondered this question. What would he ask that? What vibe were we giving off that made him think it was a first date and not just a date or not just 2 friends hanging out? My theory of girls and guys cannot be just friends nixes the 3rd option - why would just the 2 of you be out if you are just friends? That is a different blog and one I think I have already written it.

I think it is very difficult to navigate this new world of dating that I have found myself in. It use to be simple, boy asks girl out, boy picks up girl, boy pays, boy walks girl to door and boy kisses girl (or some variation of that scenario). Recently, I have been out and been wondering "Is this a date?". If I follow the criteria above, he asked me out, we met out, we had good convo, he paid and then that was it. Was it a date? If you go by the criteria of him paying then it most certainly was a date. But at the end it was more like "see you later pal", so was it a bad date? Maybe I just gave off the friend vibe so he didn't think it was a date. Later, I figure it must be a date because we went out again. But after that non-date date, I again wasn't sure if I had been on a date. Maybe it is because neither of us want to commit and we want to figure out if we are better off friends or could really date so instead of jumping in feet first, we stick a toe in the dating pool.

Best of Atlanta - Mating and Dating

I was looking for a restaurant to go to tonight and found this section on citysearch.

It made me laugh. I would agree with some of the choices listed under each category but a lot of them are good old standbys like the Sundial as a romantic place. I am not knocking because I liked it but it is very cliche. Thought I would share in case folks wanted a good laugh or needed a good idea!

Casual Dating - Date Commentary #1

***Author's Note: I have written several 'dating' themed posts over the last few months and to protect the innocent or guilty, I have decide to begin to publish them so these are thoughts that I have had for the first 6 months of the year and opinions may have changed or shifted during that time but I will be begin to post these as a 'Dating Commentary' series. Enjoy!****

I have decided that this will be my year for casual dating. And I don't mean "casual dating" in the sense of casually hooking up. It is funny that it has taken me this long to realize that you don't have to kiss all the frogs to find out that they aren't the prince, you just have to kiss a few. Taking the stressing of kissing out of the first date is wise advice - maybe take it out of the first few dates. Kissing is fun don't get me wrong but after you kiss a person, it gets a little confusing on whether you are kissing them because it is fun or because you actually like the person and are compatible with them. After the first kiss occurs, the relationship totally changes to. You either feel awkward around them the next time you see them or maybe you have those little butterflies - either way you have just crossed over from casually dating to dating. The kiss signifies a change in the relationship which can mean different things if you are just friends, dating, hooking up, etc. So in light of this revelation that I was taught so long ago but have ignored, I am going to casually date and not feel the pressure to kiss on the first date. I am going to have fun and see what happens. This way if it doesn't work out then it is slightly easier to be friends and not be awkward.