What Kind of Eggs Do You Like - #34

From Runaway Bride....

Look, I guarantee that we'll have tough times. And I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us will want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine I'll regret it for the rest of my life. Because I know in my heart, you're the only one for me.

I love Eggs Benedict, I hate every other kind. I hate big weddings with everybody staring. I'd like to get married on a weekday while everybody's at work. And when I ride off into the sunset, I want my own horse.
Ike Graham: Should I be writing this down?

I love these 2 scenes and quotes. Relationships are tough and there are times you are going to want to quit but I think the key is to find the person that you want to work it out with - you will be mad at them, they will hurt you at some point but without them you would feel lost and they will bring you more joy than bad times. I also think it is important to know yourself so that you don't become the relationship. It is important to know where you end and the other person begins, it is important to have your own interests and joint interests and to learn the other persons interest but not get so lost in them that you don't know yourself. I love this quote! What kind of eggs do you like?

Flirting or Just Another Girl - #33

As I was preparing to publish this post, I realized that I had written a Title with no commentary. I sometimes do this to keep ideas fresh but then I usually write them within a day or 2 and not weeks later. So I will attempto to capture whatever thought I had at the time...

How do you know when you are flirting or just another girl? I think you can probably figure it out more easily with a stranger than with people that you know or are friends with. So I ask myself - am I the buddy, the friend, or is there more?

Where's the Romance - #32

I ask "Where is the Romance?" and "Is Romance dead?". When was the last time I had a date that showed up with flowers or a nice card tucked into the seat of my car? It was probably 10 years ago when I was dating a guy in college. Although I do remember one first date that showed up with a mixed CD for me and a rose. Nice...no, creepy. My guy friend and I were discussing this the other day and he said "Do you really want flowers" and I said "no". What I want is a guy to do something for me that he knows I will like. That shows 1 - That he knows me and 2 - That he is thinking of me. Recently I received a flask and a bottle of liquor from a guy friend - romantic no but he knew I wanted one and he must have been thinking of me. This was also from a guy friend (whether or not he wants it to be more is in question) but never-the-less, I just want to be friends and his act of kindness shows me that romance isn't dead and if he is doing it then a guy that I am dating can certainly do it. So bring on the flasks and liquor! JK

Also, another way to show you care is to go out of your way for a person. This can be done by picking them up or taking them to the airport. Making time for them in your busy life, etc. So there are more ways to show your love than flowers and chocolate.

How Can We Be Lovers... - #31

...If we can't be friends. This doesn't exactly go with my topic, it is more like "how can we be friends, if we can't date" or "how can you expect to be friends, when you can't work things out". So this is my first attempt in a long time to be friends with the guy I dated. I am friends with lots of guys that I have dated but most of them I dated a long time ago and now we are friends and we only went out a few times and I was probably the one that wasn't into them and therefore not as upset about it ending.

Anyway, I am trying to be friends with someone I dated and it is hard because we recently dated - as in 2 weeks ago we stopped dating. And he wants to be friends. I want to be friends too but I think we gave up on the whole dating thing a little too early. I felt like I (and he) had been out of the dating game for awhile so when we talked about the problem instead of just saying we are done, I wanted to figure out how to make it work. But instead, we are friends and I am seeing how that goes.

Honestly I am a mad at him for giving up in my opinion. Sure the result may be the same in another month or another 6 months so you can argue that it is better just to call it now and try to keep the friendship. But, in any relationahip you have to work at it. You have to work to be friends, you have to work to date. When something doesn't work, you try again.

And of course I feel like I am the one the blame and think "what could I have done differently". Maybe I shouldn't have held back as much as I did and maybe I should have given more and not let my job make me Miss Debbie Downer. I think "what happened to the person/people we were when it began". Those 2 people got along, those 2 people wanted to be together. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be.

So now I am trying to be the friend but a little part of me can't help but get excited when we talk and when we email. So maybe time does need to pass before we can be friends. I don't know what will happen - stay tuned.

NOTE - I realized after writing this that it is almost identical in ideas to my #23 post. Interestingly the 2 posts are about 2 different people about 3-4 months apart. The first situation, I think I knew we wouldn't be friends it was just going through the motions to say that we would. The 2nd one, we have have more invested and I think we may really try to be friends. Thought it was funny to see this come back again.

NOTE 2 - I am reading this now after 2 months of the post sitting in my queue to post and think "my how my opinions change with time". Are we friends now...well, sort of. Do I wish we were dating and had worked at it...well, no. Time bring perspective to a situation and helps you see things that may have been blurry when you were in the midst of the situation.

More Shots on Goal - Dating Commentary #30

One of my good friends (and cheerleader) tells me all the time that dating is all about the number of shots on goal and if one shot misses, you are just one shot closer to the goal. I like this theory and think that it is true. You learn more about yourself and the person that will compliment you and complete you when you date. I definitely know the traits of a person that I would like to spend my life with but also know that no one is perfect and no one will meet all of these.

She also reminded me that I don't want to be with anyone that doesn't want to be with me. You can't make someone love you or make them do all the things that make you feel appreciated (ie bringing you your favorite drink, buying you a shirt, leaving you a nice note, sending you a random text during the day, complimenting your hair/shirt, etc).

Another friend mentioned that deep down you know when something is right and when it is wrong - whether or not you want to admit it. Everything can line up perfectly but the x factor can be missing and no matter how hard you try to make it work or no matter how much you want it to work, if you are honest then you know you are better off not together and that someone else will compliment you better.

Tough lessons but important ones when you are on the search for a life partner.