Love Pray Eat

That's All Folks - #46

2009-03-15T11:33:00.000-04:00

I think sharing my dating exploits on my blog have come to an end. I have enjoyed sharing my dating adventures and my own insights and observations on men and women. I truly enjoy writing and channeling Sarah Jessica Parker's SATC character. But, I cherish the moments right now and thoroughly am enjoying my dating life and I don't think it is right to share these very personal and special moments. So I am suspending sharing my dating stories for now. There are many dates going on and they are awesome!

I do want to close out this blog series by saying that the guy that you hope and dream and pray for is out there and he will be better than what you hoped, dreamed, and prayed for so don't give up! But do continue going out on dates, all those one-and-done dates and dating around helped me figure out things about myself first and foremost and also helped me to better recognize the something special that I found.

Easy - #45

2009-03-08T23:45:00.000-04:00

It is easy. I can't believe how easy this relationship is. I know issues will come but right now I feel like we can do anything if we trust each other and communicate. My aunt once told me "A relationship should be easy...especially in this time of your life. There are plenty of times where it will be complicated when you are married and have kids...it will be hard...but now should be easy." I always thought that made since but it wasn't until I found easy that I truly appreciate and understand it. I think it is easy because you are with the one you are supposed to be with and because the lines of communication are wide open. So look for easy...who wants hard and complicated and yucky anyway, easy is enjoyable and fun.

Making it Work - #44

2009-03-01T23:43:00.000-05:00

I have been in relationships that I felt like I had to make it work but I think relationships are best when they just work. I am not saying that it won't ever take work but if you do key things like communicate and you are open with feelings, thoughts, past hurts, etc then it seems to go a long way. I also think an unwritten connection also helps. I am glad to be in a relationship where I don't feel like I have to make it work but rather it just works.

For Women Only - #43

2009-02-22T12:42:00.000-05:00

I recently finished "For Women Only" by Shaunti Feldman. She was a guest speaker at our church several years ago and I have heard a lot about the book but finally picked it up to read for myself. While the book is geared towards married women, I think any woman can gain insight into the male mind by reading this book. Here are a few key themes from the book that I think are important to know:

1. Men want their women to make an effort to look good (ie don't just wear sweats and not put on make-up around the house, the effort is the important part)
2. Men want to appear in control but often they are insecure so don't feed their insecurity instead support and love them
3. Sex is emotional for men just like romance is emotional for us
4. Men want to provide for their woman and family
5. Men are visual and visuals pop up all the time throughout the day for them

The book it packed with research and explains all of these ideas better than I can but it is enlighting to think about. It may change how you approach a date or a relatioship, I know it will make me think twice about how my actions may appear to my male companion versus how I think he interprets them.

Boyfriend without Benefits - #42

2009-02-15T16:36:00.000-05:00

So I have entered a new realm of dating. We all know about "friends with benefits" but I think I am now in a relationship that is best described as "boyfriend without benefits". I feel like we are dating, we talk and share deep thoughts that you would with a boyfriend and we go out to dinner and watch movies like you might on a date but that is where it ends. There is a lot of gray to this situation - feelings can get hurt if someone reads the situation differently that the other person.

Sometimes I think I like the gray. When it is gray, if it goes one way you can think "oh, yeah I thought we were just friends and I didn't get hurt" or if it goes the other way you think "oh, yeah, we have been dating this whole time and we are into each other". But when there is gray, there are no rules and I am not sure relationships do well without a framework or a basis for what you are. I don't think boyfriend without benefits is any better than a friend with benefits - too much gray!

Does History Repeat Itself - #40

2009-02-08T18:48:00.000-05:00

I was writing Christmas cards (guess that gives the time of this blog away) and I was addressing one to a good friend from college. This particular friend is a guy and he is now happily married with a beautiful daughter. During college, this friend and I were just that good friends. We did a lot together but each dated someone else. We met my first semester in college and stayed friends until the end. There was however one bump in the road - it came our 4th year in school. By this point, most everyone thought we were more than friends but we were just friends. Until one evening when I took him as a date to a sorority function and it was clear that there was interest. I wish it was happily ever after but it was more like happily ever 1 week before I met Mr I-thought-at-the-time-you-were-perfect and we seriously dated for the next few years. And not long after he met his Mrs Right and later married her. Did dating change our relationship - absolutely. Was I invited to the wedding - yes. Have we stayed friends - Let's be honeset, the wife hates me.

So as I write his Christmas card, I think back on my dating life and again think how many male friends I have had in my life. I am like a male friend magnet but never seem to get past the friends stage. In some cases that is ok, in some cases he had interest and I didn't, some cases I had interest and he didn't and other times, it was a timing thing. I have always been comfortable with male friends, I just hate losing them all when they get married. Male friends are less maintenance than female friends. They aren't competitive, they are laid back and put less pressure on (I am not dissing my girl friends - they are awesome and wouldn't trade them for anything but guys tend to be easier).

As someone wise once said, it doesn't work out until it does. So I will keep waiting for that one that will work out.

Girls like Leaders - #39

2009-02-01T23:21:00.000-05:00

I was having dinner recently with 2 girl friends and like all great conversation between women, we eventually talk about men. The question of what characteristcs we want in a man arises. I start off with a superficial things that draw me to a guy but we quickly get to the more importan traits.

1. A Godly man
2. A man who is a leader

I will stop there for now. I think this is an important one (#1 is definitely important but I think required less discussion so I will give my thoughtso n #2). We women don't want a boss of us, someone telling us what to do or being domineering. But we do want a man who is a leader and who takes action when he needs to and sits on the sides when he needs to. We want someone who is ok making decisions and giving us guidance but also ok to step aside when it is our time to shine. These are traits of a good leader. I think we are all attracted to the leader in the crowd, people look up to the leader, they want to be the leader, and the leader is surrounded by people.

Granny's Dating Theory - #38

2009-01-25T23:20:00.000-05:00

Recently, my grandmother was asking me about my dating life. She knew I had gone out with a few people and wanted to know the status. So I shared with her that I had ended it with one guy and that another guy had ended it with me and that currently I am not dating anyone. My grandmother turns to me and says:

"Don't you know that dating is like getting a job. You can't quit the first one without having another one lined up."

Go Granny!

Example 1,342,532 of Why Girls and Guys Can't Be Friends - #37

2009-01-18T10:24:00.000-05:00

So again my theory of guys and girls being friends is blown. Sure I think after some awkwardness and you work through feelings and time passess yadayadayada, you can be friends. But that doesn't gurantee that the issues of the heart won't resurface at some point.

So I really have 2 latest examples. Example 1, I am friends with a guy and we spend a lot of time together eventually one begins to wonder and then there you are up late at night talking and now the balance of the group is thrown off. All the folks in the group just aren't friends and jealousy begins to rear its ugly head. But hey, "you are just friends". And on top of that everyone wants to know - what is up with you and so-and-so, and my answer is that I don't know and I am thinking, I do not want everyone in my business. So the ugly cycle begins again.

Example 2, you are friends, you date your friend, and then you can't be friends. Sure you say you want to be friends. You say hi and go through the motions and you run into each other and try not to be awkward. But if you were friends, at least friends like you use to be, then there would be a lote more to say between you and you wouldn't avoid each other like the plague in a group of 10 people where you each stand on opposite sides of the crowd. And you definitely wouldn't say "You look nice" - why would you say that because that is not a friend-like comment. So, after sometime, we can be friends but not today and not right now. See you in the future.

Enemies Close - #36

2009-01-11T10:21:00.000-05:00

Other girls are competition - bottom line. It doesn't matter if you have been friends for awhile or new friends, you cannot share a guy and you cannot both pursue the same guy at at the same time. It doesn't work - it is a competition and then girls get all sly and they act as if they are your friend but really they are doing a recon mission on your time with the guy or they want to drop hints about their interaction with the guy. So keep your friend close but your competition even closer. At least that is what I have witnessed happened. Do you want to be my friend or do you just want to know how my relationship is progressing? Interesting to ponder.

Pseudo Boyfriend - #35

2009-01-04T22:45:00.000-05:00

The other day I was talking to my guy friend about how I have a few events coming up that would be ideal to take a date too. He offered to be my "pseudo-boyfriend". He did say that I might miss out on Mr Right if I take him to things but he would be glad to fill in. Pseudo-boyfriend - interesting concept. It is definitely great to bring someone to things and have someone "with" you versus being the 3rd wheel or odd man out. But if you are my "pseudo-boyfriend", at one point will one or both of us look at each other and think differently? What are the lines of a pseudo-boyfriend? They are bound to be crossed if you are playing the role of a boyfriend, don't you think?

What Kind of Eggs Do You Like - #34

2008-12-28T23:11:00.000-05:00

From Runaway Bride....

Look, I guarantee that we'll have tough times. And I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us will want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine I'll regret it for the rest of my life. Because I know in my heart, you're the only one for me.

I love Eggs Benedict, I hate every other kind. I hate big weddings with everybody staring. I'd like to get married on a weekday while everybody's at work. And when I ride off into the sunset, I want my own horse.
Ike Graham: Should I be writing this down?

I love these 2 scenes and quotes. Relationships are tough and there are times you are going to want to quit but I think the key is to find the person that you want to work it out with - you will be mad at them, they will hurt you at some point but without them you would feel lost and they will bring you more joy than bad times. I also think it is important to know yourself so that you don't become the relationship. It is important to know where you end and the other person begins, it is important to have your own interests and joint interests and to learn the other persons interest but not get so lost in them that you don't know yourself. I love this quote! What kind of eggs do you like?

Flirting or Just Another Girl - #33

2008-12-28T23:06:00.000-05:00

As I was preparing to publish this post, I realized that I had written a Title with no commentary. I sometimes do this to keep ideas fresh but then I usually write them within a day or 2 and not weeks later. So I will attempto to capture whatever thought I had at the time...

How do you know when you are flirting or just another girl? I think you can probably figure it out more easily with a stranger than with people that you know or are friends with. So I ask myself - am I the buddy, the friend, or is there more?

Where's the Romance - #32

2008-12-21T23:05:00.002-05:00

I ask "Where is the Romance?" and "Is Romance dead?". When was the last time I had a date that showed up with flowers or a nice card tucked into the seat of my car? It was probably 10 years ago when I was dating a guy in college. Although I do remember one first date that showed up with a mixed CD for me and a rose. Nice...no, creepy. My guy friend and I were discussing this the other day and he said "Do you really want flowers" and I said "no". What I want is a guy to do something for me that he knows I will like. That shows 1 - That he knows me and 2 - That he is thinking of me. Recently I received a flask and a bottle of liquor from a guy friend - romantic no but he knew I wanted one and he must have been thinking of me. This was also from a guy friend (whether or not he wants it to be more is in question) but never-the-less, I just want to be friends and his act of kindness shows me that romance isn't dead and if he is doing it then a guy that I am dating can certainly do it. So bring on the flasks and liquor! JK

Also, another way to show you care is to go out of your way for a person. This can be done by picking them up or taking them to the airport. Making time for them in your busy life, etc. So there are more ways to show your love than flowers and chocolate.

How Can We Be Lovers... - #31

2008-12-14T22:59:00.000-05:00

...If we can't be friends. This doesn't exactly go with my topic, it is more like "how can we be friends, if we can't date" or "how can you expect to be friends, when you can't work things out". So this is my first attempt in a long time to be friends with the guy I dated. I am friends with lots of guys that I have dated but most of them I dated a long time ago and now we are friends and we only went out a few times and I was probably the one that wasn't into them and therefore not as upset about it ending.

Anyway, I am trying to be friends with someone I dated and it is hard because we recently dated - as in 2 weeks ago we stopped dating. And he wants to be friends. I want to be friends too but I think we gave up on the whole dating thing a little too early. I felt like I (and he) had been out of the dating game for awhile so when we talked about the problem instead of just saying we are done, I wanted to figure out how to make it work. But instead, we are friends and I am seeing how that goes.

Honestly I am a mad at him for giving up in my opinion. Sure the result may be the same in another month or another 6 months so you can argue that it is better just to call it now and try to keep the friendship. But, in any relationahip you have to work at it. You have to work to be friends, you have to work to date. When something doesn't work, you try again.

And of course I feel like I am the one the blame and think "what could I have done differently". Maybe I shouldn't have held back as much as I did and maybe I should have given more and not let my job make me Miss Debbie Downer. I think "what happened to the person/people we were when it began". Those 2 people got along, those 2 people wanted to be together. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be.

So now I am trying to be the friend but a little part of me can't help but get excited when we talk and when we email. So maybe time does need to pass before we can be friends. I don't know what will happen - stay tuned.

NOTE - I realized after writing this that it is almost identical in ideas to my #23 post. Interestingly the 2 posts are about 2 different people about 3-4 months apart. The first situation, I think I knew we wouldn't be friends it was just going through the motions to say that we would. The 2nd one, we have have more invested and I think we may really try to be friends. Thought it was funny to see this come back again.

NOTE 2 - I am reading this now after 2 months of the post sitting in my queue to post and think "my how my opinions change with time". Are we friends now...well, sort of. Do I wish we were dating and had worked at it...well, no. Time bring perspective to a situation and helps you see things that may have been blurry when you were in the midst of the situation.

More Shots on Goal - Dating Commentary #30

2008-12-07T21:33:00.000-05:00

One of my good friends (and cheerleader) tells me all the time that dating is all about the number of shots on goal and if one shot misses, you are just one shot closer to the goal. I like this theory and think that it is true. You learn more about yourself and the person that will compliment you and complete you when you date. I definitely know the traits of a person that I would like to spend my life with but also know that no one is perfect and no one will meet all of these.

She also reminded me that I don't want to be with anyone that doesn't want to be with me. You can't make someone love you or make them do all the things that make you feel appreciated (ie bringing you your favorite drink, buying you a shirt, leaving you a nice note, sending you a random text during the day, complimenting your hair/shirt, etc).

Another friend mentioned that deep down you know when something is right and when it is wrong - whether or not you want to admit it. Everything can line up perfectly but the x factor can be missing and no matter how hard you try to make it work or no matter how much you want it to work, if you are honest then you know you are better off not together and that someone else will compliment you better.

Tough lessons but important ones when you are on the search for a life partner.

Art of Communication - Dating Commentary #29

2008-11-30T10:52:00.000-05:00

Although the posts have been regular, there has been quite a lull between when I wrote my last post and today. Communication has been a key theme in my life lately - at work and in dating. Communication breakdowns or different methods of communicating, can cause a lot of problems. In a dating relationship, it may not matter that everything like family, religious beliefs, long term goals, etc line up if communication is failing. In fact, folks with the same way of communicating may not line up always instead I think the 2 people need to have complimentary forms of communicating. Body language, actions, and words all make up communication and it is key to do this right in dating.

When folks say that they aren't fighting in a relationship, I usually think that means that they aren't communicating. It is good to argue, get your point out, talk about your feelings. Just because you are dating, it doesn't mean that you should see eye to eye on everything. In fact, I wouldn't want to see eye to eye on everything. I would like to have lively conversations and different interests so I can expand my world beyond just me.

So, lesson learned...be a good communicator even if in the end it hurts. At least you tried and you learned something from the experience.

How soon is too soon? - Dating Commentary #28

2008-11-23T20:27:00.000-05:00

So now that I have mastered going out on a date...let me start again - Now that I have gone out on a few dates...I am now trying to figure out how soon is too soon. How do you start integrating your lives together. When do you invite someone to sporting events with your friends, when do you start expecting to see them more than once on the weekend, when do you know the plans they have for the weekend? It is a frustrating and maybe a little fun time. I guess it is the getting to know you phase.

I think this is part of the DTR conversation but I am not willing to bring it up. As my sister says "You are so the guy in the relationship because you don't want to committ and you are slow to call people back." Ok, so I am not the typical girl who wants to be quick to say we are "boyfriend/girlfriend", I mean a girl needs to keep her options open. But at the same time, I would like a little more consistency (aka planning) to what is going on. I do want to be included on things and want to be more than a buddy or pal that you see once a week. So, what do you do? I guess I should follow my own advice and "Say what you need to say" and have that DTR but I don't want to rock the waters, we shall see what happens...to be continued:)

M's Theory - Dating Commentary #27

2008-11-16T16:03:00.000-05:00

Another day, another conversation about dating. Another friend of mine recently gave me her theory on dating. Her theory is that some people are good serial daters while others will never be serial daters due to the make up our brain. What she means by that is this - If I a serial dater then out of a 100 people, I can find 50 or so people I would date so my odds of finding someone I would go out with is 50%. For others, their brain only causes them to find 3 people out of 100 as possible dates. So if those 2 people look at 100 people, the serial daters chance of finding someone is 50% whereas the other is only 3%. This has nothing to do with being picky, just want these different brain make-ups find interesting or attractive to date.

I like the theory - I think I am somewhere in the 5% range. Just don't see a lot of people I would date.

Where's Waldo - Dating Commentary #26

2008-11-09T17:18:00.000-05:00

I went out on a date - and it was indeed a date. I had a fun time, great conversation, and figured we would go out at the end of the night. At the end of the date, he said "let me know that you got home safely" so I text him and said I had a good time and he replied with something similar. I figured we would go out again based on this. The following week, we exchanged texts and we mentioned seeing each other at a mutual friend's event. I go to the event and he never shows and I haven't heard from him since. So after acting like he was interested there has been silence. Why would you say you have fun and want to do it again, initiate a text conversation, talk about seeing me, and then silence. So I ask "Where's Waldo?".

Swing Dancing - Dating Commentary #25

2008-11-02T10:11:00.000-05:00

From a friend who is a regular reader of my blog:)

My guess is you would be a fan of partner dance terminology...I ask good follows, for example, to describe a good lead so I can improve. All of them say "He's always very deliberate. I know exactly what he wants, and there's no ambiguity." Sounds a bit like some of your recent thoughts.

For those non-dancers out there a "lead" is usually a guy because he is leading the dance and the girl is using the "follow" because she is following the lead and not directing the dance.

Butterflies - Dating Commentary #24

2008-10-26T13:44:00.000-04:00

I am looking for those butterflies. I think they define the X factor in the relationship, the chemistry. I know when I get them because my stomach starts to hurt, my heart begins to beat faster, and I think I may get flushed. I use to think that you had to feel those butterflies immediately because that it how it was with my first love. But I have learned that butterflies can develop. For instance, I didn't even give a recent interest a second look when I first met him. But after being friends for awhile and hanging out in social situations and then after a few frates and then a few dates, I got the butterflies. I got nervous when I called him. So the butterflies were starting when we put the brakes on the whole thing. But you do have to be careful to make sure the butterflies are true and not just the chase factor which it may have been in this case. Also, an old flame can generate those butterflies but I think that is probably due the stress they caused in your life at some point:)

So I am looking for those butterflies. Will they come right away and be instant "love or first sight" or will one day I look at a friend or a guy I have been dating and my heart will skip a beat?

Psychology of Facebook

2008-10-22T22:38:00.002-04:00

Facebook has been a topic of many of my conversations lately and also something I spent too much time on so I thought I would pause my dating commentary to talk about the Psychology of Facebook. I am fascinated with social networking so this is an interesting topic to me.

First, Facebook breeds stalking. This takes several forms - first is the "friend stalking". You track your friends, their status, their pictures, what they are doing. You don't even have to have a conversation with your friends you can just ask "How was NY" even though the only reason you know they went to NY was because of their status update. Weird, huh?

There is also "I-want-to-be-your-friend stalking". These are the people that you may have met and one of you friended the other on Facebook. You want to get to know these people better so you track what they are doing from afar. They don't know you check their page and that you know what they are up to. This is also known as "creepy stalking".

There is "tantalizing stalking". This is when you post something on purpose in hopes that someone will see the picture, your status, your comment, etc. You want people to know what a great weekend you had or the cool thing that you did or you want people to see how good you looked last weekend. You aren’t just posting things so your friends know what you are up to - you are posting in hopes that a specific friend will check out what you are up to.

There is also "stalking your stalker". This is when you install a program that tracks who visits your page. For instance, you can load StatCounter on your page and it will show all the IPs and their locations across the globe that have visited your page. So you are seeing who is checking out your page.

Seems like society today is breeding stalkers and Facebook is encouraging it. You have to stalk or be stalked...welcome to social networking.

Said What I Needed to Say - Dating Commentary #23

2008-10-19T13:39:00.000-04:00

So I have said my peace - maybe not all that I wanted to say but I did have my 3 key points. I still walked away with a few questions but maybe they didn't matter. My advice in dating and life is to have good communications, avoid the drama when possible, and be honest. It may be hard to be honest but there is a line between hurting feelings and keeping hope alive about a relationship so you should make sure that is clear so one person doesn't leave with one message while the other person thought they delivered another message. It will be interesting to see how this turns out - to be friends or not? hang out or not? I don't have a crystal ball so we will see!

Seedling - Dating Commentary #22

2008-10-12T22:05:00.000-04:00

As a tribute to my guy friend GameShow, here are his thoughts on dating after reading my blog. This is printed with permission:)

"I think of dating a lot like the life of a seedling. So many things can knock it down: wind, rain, blight, feet, etc. Only a percentage of them actually put down healthy roots and grow into mature trees. But then again, what do I know? I’m single – and a guy to boot"

Done and Done - Dating Commentary #21

2008-10-05T22:02:00.000-04:00

This could also be titled "Clue phone, it is for me" or "He is just not into you where have you been". So it has taken me awhile and maybe it has been because I have been out of the dating pool for awhile but I am done with the game. Mr X called earlier to "checkin", whatever that means. No mention of hanging out - more just asking what I was up to and then telling me what he is doing (none of which included me). Needless to say I am done. I have been debating on whether we need to have a convo about it - get the feelings out there, be honest, no drama, short and sweet. But why, I am deciding that I am done with the situation. Done and done!

Emotional Constipation - Dating Commentary #19

2008-09-28T16:11:00.000-04:00

I heard this term used today by a friend. She said her boyfriend had "emotional constipation" - he has trouble getting his emotions out. Now the boyfriend was there and it was quite a funny moment and a funny (althought sick) visual. So I had to share this.

On this outing with friends, we talked a lot about dating. The boyfriend said dating was all about intent and not whether or not the guy pays or asks the girl out. My argument was that how are we suppose to know the intent. After bantering on this topic for hours, I think we came to a consensus that while we don't like to play the games of dating that they are necessary because you have to do the dance to see if you are interested and it may take a few dates to figure that out. So, I will continue to dance...it would just nice to find a partner who leads every now and then:)

Pursuit - Dating Commentary #18b

2008-09-22T18:08:00.000-04:00

Today I got home and had an email from a friend of mine asking me on a date with a clear plan. He mentioned the date, time, what we would do and then gave me an option to decide on part of the date. Clearly, he has interest and a plan. I guess I am old fashioned but I appreciate that. I am excited about going out with him - for once someone who is purusing me and not leaving me guessing on whether or not this is a date. It is refreshing!

To follow that up, I was out with friends last night and met a guy who was a mutual friend. He also asked me out and was very kind and complimentary. It was unusual, unexpected and quite nice. So I am also going out with him.

I am looking foward to the dates but my heart it elsewhere. Why does our heart always seem to want what we can't have or want the person that doesn't seem to return the interest. Instead of just saying we are done, we continue to try to make it work. At some point, I will have to say "enough is enough" and realize that is not the path I am meant to take.

Too Many Men - Dating Commentary #18a

2008-09-21T14:51:00.000-04:00

This is not a problem I have had...well, ever. I think I finally get over the heart break of my life and am ready to open up and have a relationship instead of following my dating rule of one and done. But I can't. Too many people interest me and part of the reason I don't say to one what I feel is because if we decide to date then what do I tell the others that I am interested in. Nice problem to have, eh? But really, I am not sure how much I like any of them or maybe I have just talked myself out of liking any of them because it was easier to be alone. Not easier, but it was safe and I (unfortunately) know how to be alone.

Mr Right wherever you are, I know you will break through these barriers and I know that I won't have to question who you are and if you care and you will give me that movie moment and you will be my best friend and my confidant.

The Past - Dating Commentary #17

2008-09-14T22:32:00.000-04:00

Life is funny. Just when you think you are moving on and you have things figured out, ghosts of dating past seem to show up at your door. Ghost #1 is a friendly and entertaining ghost. We were friends, went on a date, realized it wouldn't work, he dated others, got married and sadly enough is now divorced. I am his wingwoman and try to provide advice in the new world of dating to him but I admit, I am more lost than anyone. He is my go to on a Fri night when I need a friend to drink with that understands me. Ghost #2 was a long ago crush that I never could pass the friend barrier with. I had a moment - I remember it like it was yesterday - to pass thru the barrier and make my feelings known but I just couldn't. I saw him and my heart skipped a beat and I thought about the road not traveled. Is it too late? Could I even return to that road or am I too far down a different path?

Hurt and Mad - Dating Commentary #16

2008-09-07T13:33:00.001-04:00

I think I have brought my hurt on myself and maybe my anger. I feel like I have communicated that I need to have good communication in a relationhip or in dating and yet I haven't gotten it. When I am into you, I want to talk to you and make plans with you and when I think about future events, I see you in them. But when the feeling is not returned, I guess it is time to move on. When we are together things are great and I feel like we are on the same page but then days, weeks go but until the next thing and the vicious cycle starts over. Maybe I am rushing things, maybe I am not as open as I could be, maybe I should just "say" what I need to say. But I don't. Instead, I am mad, hurt and undoubtly alone.

Hopeless Romantic - Dating Commentary #15

2008-08-30T14:50:00.000-04:00

Last night I was out and about with a few friends (well one friend and 3 of her friends). We were at one of the usual spots and I would say I had a "romantic movie" moment. It doesn't take much guys - just be bold and confident!

My group ran into some people they knew and everyone was doing introductions but I was standing a little off to the side because it was crowded and we were in a group of 5 so it was hard to have a conversation. I made eye contact with the one guy who had done introductions but skipped me since I was outside the circle. So he boldly says "What's your name?" and grabs my hand and pulls me through the circle closer to him. Now I had already decided this guy was cute and I am guessing my eyes already conveyed that message, otherwise this might be creapy. We chatted after that but I was quite impressed by his boldness and he even planted one on my cheek and complimented me. So of course I was taken by this and in a sense "swept off my feet" for but a moment. We will see if this leads anywhere but for a moment I remembered what it was like to feel special and it reminded me that I want this always so I shouldn't settle. So thanks to Mr Pull-Me-Through-the-Crowd for making my heart skip a beat and have a movie moment. I hope to meet you again!

Update to this story (as it was months ago) - Found out this guy was engaged. Guys are creeps! But I had the movie moment and it was fun to talk about.

He's Not Into You...Wait - Dating Commentary #14

2008-08-23T22:41:00.000-04:00

Just when I was ready to write off my dating friend as not being into me, he calls. Of course he does and the odd thing is that it is a Sat night and he could have call all week long to check in how I was doing. Why are you checking in if you aren't interested, I think? Then I think, why aren't you asking me out while you are calling me so maybe you aren't interested. So I am confused. I am not good at this casual dating thing. When I decide that I am interested in someone then I want to make room for them in my life. And I have a busy life. So it isn't that I want to see you every day but once on the weekend would be nice - even if it is an hr to grab coffeee. I want to make that room for you. Does everyone think like this? Or is this is a new stage of dating that I have to get through to get to expect to see the other person regularly? Are their rules to this crazy dating dance!

She's Not With Him - Dating Commentary #13

2008-08-22T22:38:00.000-04:00

Last night I went out with some guy friends and I tried to get some insider informaion on how guys think. They confirmed that it is a very shallow pool to tread in when I inquired that I wanted to take a deep dive into the thoughts of guys. They did reveal one tidbit - not sure if this is universal guy thing or just these fellows. Anyway, they said that when they see a girl with a guy, they automatically assume that the guy and girl are not together. I found this interesting because I automatically assume the opposite - if they are out together then the guy and girl must be together.

This topic was brought up because I said I didn't think a guy and girl could be wingmen/wingwomen for each other because they would look like they were together. My guy friends think to the contrary. This is another example of how differently we all think - no wonder both sides are always confused.

Last Word - Dating Commentary #12

2008-08-21T15:48:00.000-04:00

Enough about my dating woes, I want to share some trials and tribulations and questions of others. A friend recently went out with a guy on a few dates (like 8). Things were going well but then he was acting wierd one weekend. After a series of conversations, she sent a text that says "I think it is better off we are just friends." (The fact that she sent a text is a whole other blog topic). No sooner has she sent it than he replies "Yes, I couldn't agree more." It is like he had to have the last word and make it seem like "Oh, yeah I had already thought of that." A simple "ok" or "sure" or "I agree" would have sufficed but no he had to have the last word and stab the knife in a little deeper. Men!

No End - Dating Commentary #11

2008-08-09T19:16:00.001-04:00

In this new world of dating, I think people rather just let things trail off than officially end them. I have been inspired by John Mayer's song "Say" which says to "Say what you need to say.". I want to know if we are friends or more. I want to have that difficult conversation. I don't like the in between and the not knowing. I don't want to be the one who you call when you need someone to hang out with or be the one you call if your first plan doesn't work out - I want to be who you want to hang out with and spend time with.

I know it is difficult to have the conversation but once you have gone on a few dates, I think you owe the other person to at least tell them that you aren't interested. And not by text or over email - it should be done either on the phone or in person. For me, I just want to know where the line is and may be I can't interpret the "He is just not into you" signs or I am in denial. But I am asking, how hard is it to just "say what you need to say."?

To Be Friends or Not - Dating Commentary #10

2008-08-01T22:09:00.000-04:00

I almost titled this blog "The Art of Mixed Signals". I can understand it, I am probably doing it. I recently went out and when I got home the SATC episode where Carrie and Adian are out on a date is on and throughout the episode she thinks "We are friends" then "No, this is a date". That is the story of my life. I had just gone out and I had the same thoughts throughout the night. Did I want it to be a date - yes. Do I think it was a date - I have no idea.

So right now I just want to know - are we going to be friends or date. I just want to know that at the end of the night, I should expect a pat on the back or a kiss.

I was explaining my mixed signals to a group of girl friends and one guy. The guy told the story of how he was playing the game with his current girlfriend and she finally called him out and said "What is going on?" and he said "Well, I want to be friends" and her reply was "We were never friends to start with so either we are dating or we are nothing." In my case, I was friends first and I think we are at the fork in the road where it could go either way. I just want to know because I don't want to think we might go out this weekend and be disappointed that we don't.

"Date" by Wikipedia - Dating Commentary #9

2008-07-27T10:17:00.000-04:00

On my question for defining "dating" or what a "date" is, I have finally turned to the source of all information - Wikipedia. There is a good page of information in dating on Wikipedia, some of which is kind of funny. Here is a quick excerpt:

Dating is any social activity performed as a pair or even a group with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as their partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. The word refers to the act of agreeing on a time and "date" when a pair can meet and engage in some social activity.

I don't think Wikipedia has led me any closer to defining a date but thought I would give it a shot. A date does involve a pair assessing someone's suitablity to be a partner but really that is the journey of dating and not just a single date. When I go on a date, I am not constantly assessing the suitability, I am enjoying the time I have with the other person and getting to know them. It is only after the date that I start to analyze it all:) Or if it is a bad date, I have already moved on from the analysis stage and started figuring out an exit strategy!

Bennies - Dating Commentary #8.5

2008-07-23T19:43:00.002-04:00

I had to interrupt my scheduled commentaries so share a new term that my co-worker came up with today when we were discussing dating, frating, etc. When I asked him if the girl he went to a wedding with was a friend or more, he said "it was bennies". For those that need a definition, "bennies" is "friends with benefits". So we had quite the conversation about frates and bennies - anyone listening would have thought we were talking in another language. Now we will be asking if you are going out with Benny or Betty(the closest we could get to "benefits" for a girl name) to know what kind of date it is. Just to be clear here are some uses:

Are you going out with Benny this weekend?
Was that date a bennie?
That date was so bennie.
So was that a date? It was a bennie.
Is that your friend, date, frate, or bennie?
I've been out on some frates and bennies.

Maybe you had to be there but I just wanted to share another word that we have added to the pop culture dating dictionary - use and enjoy!

I'm A Planner - Dating Commentary #8

2008-07-18T13:45:00.000-04:00

I am a planner. I have a very busy life and like to have things scheduled. I usually have a packed weekend of activities - sometimes to the point that I just wanted to "schedule" a night at home. So when it comes to dating, I want to go ahead and know that I have a date on Friday night or Sat night. But it seems that guys are not planners - or at least not the guys I am interested in. I had one say to me "as usual last minute planning...". Why does it have to be last minute? You like me, I like you, let's make a plan and go out. I am all for fly by the seat of my pants and do something crazy, unusual and not plan but when it comes to "a date", just "one date", can we not plan that? I am all for exciting, spur of the moment, "let's do x" but I just want to know that one night this weekend, I will see you and it will be a date. The rest of the weekend, we can do our own things and have other planned activities but if I am interested in you, I would like to see you and maybe sometime in the future those other planned activities will include you.

10 love lessons across the US by TB Lynam

2008-07-14T22:56:00.001-04:00

This is an interesting/insightful article about a writer who traveled across the US doing internet dating. Read what she found during her quest here.

Frate - Dating Commentary #7

2008-07-13T00:55:00.000-04:00

Frate is my new term for the "Friend Date". Are you on a date or are you on a frate? I was asking myself that last night after I got home from what I thought was a date but by the end of the night, I thought it might be a frate. It didn't help to turn on an SATC re-run and have Carrie ponder the same thing about her relationship with Aiden. There was a whole set of scences that showed them doing something and she would think 'this is a date' and then 'no, he thinks I am his friend'. As I played the evening in my head, I think I had more friend encounters but given the context of the situation, I thought it was a date. I know I am being vague - purposefully though.

I read an article recently and it was about how women just really want to be pursued by men. Sure in this day and age it is acceptable to ask men out, pay for dinner, and even call the guy first. But at the end of the day, I rather the guy call me and ask me out and call me first. The article referenced the famous Jane Eyre and Pride and Prejudice books and what made the title male character win the female as their passion and the way they put it on the line for their women. Of course it doesn't always work out but where is the reward with no risk? I want to be pursued and I don't want to question if it was a date, I want to know. I don't want to be one of a few women you are seeing, I want to the one you choose to see. Is that too much to ask?

***All ideas on this blog are my own and should not be copied in any format.***

SHE is just not that into you - or is she? article

2008-07-10T23:35:00.002-04:00

My friend sent me this article and I think it is summed up well near the end where it says dating is confusing! Thank you! It is and it goes on to say with all the technology available to us and all the different personalities that just makes matters worse because everyone has different signals and because men need decoder rings to figure us women out!

Check out "She's Just Not That Into You - Or Is She?" by Sarah Jio.

Beautiful Women, Supportive Husbands - Dating Commentary #6

2008-07-09T22:15:00.000-04:00

Article on AOL.

Andy's Definion of a Date - Dating Commentary #5

2008-07-05T21:14:00.000-04:00

In a recent conversation, a friend of a friend was defining a "date" for me. He said a date is when a guy asks a girl out, picks her up, opens the door and pays for dinner. I let him know that that must be the "southern" definition of a date because folks from up North didn't do that. His response - "You are going out with the wrong people". Touché!

Boys are Dumb - Dating Commentary #4

2008-06-29T23:16:00.000-04:00

Day X of my Dating Dilemnas blog. This weekend, I was talking to my guy friend who I am in this dating limbo with (see non-date date blog). Anyway, we are talking and I am joking about my one-and-done philosophy and how I can't seem to get past the first date because I usually find something that annoys me. I actually think this is more my problem than the guys but I am working on it and trying to keep interest past the first date. In fact, I reread one of my old blogs about trying to be friends first and seeing what happens and that is exactly what I am trying to do here. Anyway, in response to my one-and-done comment he says "Well, I haven't been on any dates in awhile..." So of course, I think back to our non-date date and have now gotten confirmation that he didn't think it was a date even though it met my criteria of "If boy pays, it is a date." So one of us is clueless, I am beginning to think it is me. Maybe he thought it was a date but he didn't think I thought it was a date because of my one-and-done comment. Since we are friends, maybe we don't want to mess with the balance so it is easier to test the waters with these offhanded comments.

This also reminds me of a cartoon a friend told me about this weekend. A girl and guy are ending their date and both are sitting in the car and talking about how they have been dating for 3 months. The girl then starts to think about how she shouldn't have said something so she is getting all worked up while the guy is thinking about how he needs to get his oil changed because it has been 3 months since he last did it. Just goes to show we women are always overanalyzing and really we shouldn't think much past the words we actually hear.

One and done! - Dating Commentary #3

2008-06-22T14:48:00.000-04:00

I have been on several non-date dates lately. Maybe that is best for me because when I start thinking it is a date or I really like the person, I get overly nervous, overly critical and I don't enjoy it. I think I have learned I need to ease into dating and not put so much pressure on myself and the other person. If we go out and have fun, go out again. If they have an annoying habit, ignore it because the habit was always there and you may have just noticed it when you went out and began to be critical of their every move. Enjoy it - that is what dating is about. I think we women go wrong when we go out on one date (or maybe just thinking about the upcoming date) and we start to picture white dresses and how our new name would sound like. It is just a date, that doesn't mean you are getting married!

First Date? - Dating Commentary #2

2008-06-16T08:33:00.000-04:00

What makes up a first date? I was recently out with a friend and we struck up a conversation with our neighbor at the bar. Later in the evening after a couple of beers and light conversation with our new friend, he says "Our guess is that you guys are on your first date." At the time, I laughed it off because I wasn't even sure if it was a date (more on that later). But afterwards, I pondered this question. What would he ask that? What vibe were we giving off that made him think it was a first date and not just a date or not just 2 friends hanging out? My theory of girls and guys cannot be just friends nixes the 3rd option - why would just the 2 of you be out if you are just friends? That is a different blog and one I think I have already written it.

I think it is very difficult to navigate this new world of dating that I have found myself in. It use to be simple, boy asks girl out, boy picks up girl, boy pays, boy walks girl to door and boy kisses girl (or some variation of that scenario). Recently, I have been out and been wondering "Is this a date?". If I follow the criteria above, he asked me out, we met out, we had good convo, he paid and then that was it. Was it a date? If you go by the criteria of him paying then it most certainly was a date. But at the end it was more like "see you later pal", so was it a bad date? Maybe I just gave off the friend vibe so he didn't think it was a date. Later, I figure it must be a date because we went out again. But after that non-date date, I again wasn't sure if I had been on a date. Maybe it is because neither of us want to commit and we want to figure out if we are better off friends or could really date so instead of jumping in feet first, we stick a toe in the dating pool.

Best of Atlanta - Mating and Dating

2008-06-13T19:59:00.003-04:00

I was looking for a restaurant to go to tonight and found this section on citysearch.

It made me laugh. I would agree with some of the choices listed under each category but a lot of them are good old standbys like the Sundial as a romantic place. I am not knocking because I liked it but it is very cliche. Thought I would share in case folks wanted a good laugh or needed a good idea!

Casual Dating - Date Commentary #1

2008-06-07T14:00:00.001-04:00

***Author's Note: I have written several 'dating' themed posts over the last few months and to protect the innocent or guilty, I have decide to begin to publish them so these are thoughts that I have had for the first 6 months of the year and opinions may have changed or shifted during that time but I will be begin to post these as a 'Dating Commentary' series. Enjoy!****

I have decided that this will be my year for casual dating. And I don't mean "casual dating" in the sense of casually hooking up. It is funny that it has taken me this long to realize that you don't have to kiss all the frogs to find out that they aren't the prince, you just have to kiss a few. Taking the stressing of kissing out of the first date is wise advice - maybe take it out of the first few dates. Kissing is fun don't get me wrong but after you kiss a person, it gets a little confusing on whether you are kissing them because it is fun or because you actually like the person and are compatible with them. After the first kiss occurs, the relationship totally changes to. You either feel awkward around them the next time you see them or maybe you have those little butterflies - either way you have just crossed over from casually dating to dating. The kiss signifies a change in the relationship which can mean different things if you are just friends, dating, hooking up, etc. So in light of this revelation that I was taught so long ago but have ignored, I am going to casually date and not feel the pressure to kiss on the first date. I am going to have fun and see what happens. This way if it doesn't work out then it is slightly easier to be friends and not be awkward.

J's Theory on Dating

2008-05-07T22:11:00.004-04:00

I have gotten into lots of dating convesations lately with friends so I am passing on some of their opinions and thoughts to make this blog more entertaining and less onesided.

My friend J said that when he wants to get a girl he has a cocktail that works every time - 33% confidence, 33% ambivalent, 33% a**hole, and 1% error. Apparently we girls fall for that everytime. But this magical cocktail doesn't keep the girl. J, I think you should try being the nice guy! And contrary to popular belief, the nice guys does win. And I mean the true nice guy, not the guy that says the right things and the girl falls for it and he was saying the same things to a different girl just the other night!

Different Perspectivies

2008-04-20T21:36:00.002-04:00

Recently, a friend and I were chatting about our past dating relationship. It was more like a few dates that didn't progress into anything and it was so long ago that there are no longer hurt feelings or any of the drama associated to the relationship and we are just friends now. We were discussing how things never got off the ground between us and I thought it was me and he thought it was something he did (I will spare the details but we are really friends and this was a very honest and open conversation). So it is funny how two people that are part of the same situation totally see the situation in completely different lights and have totally different impressions and feelings about events that occur. I also think it is important to have these honest and open conversations - this one was probably long overdue. I have realized that communication is so key in relationships and you should jump in with both feet and ask those unasked questions and tell people how you feel. So as my new favorite song by John Mayer says "Say what you need to say...".

I Got Friends in Low Places...

2008-04-13T20:37:00.004-04:00

Got to love a little Garth Brook's tune. I have a question/topic I wanted to throw out there for all of us to ponder/mull over (I feel like I just sounded like Marin from Men in Trees "Hello, Elmo. Patrick and I were just discussing..."). I have noticed that the older I get, I am not as good about keeping friends EXCEPT for my college friends. Seems like my college friends have a free pass for life, they can do no wrong. That isn't to say I don't get mad at them but after a few hrs/days, I will eventually forgive and forget. Maybe it is because we lived together 24-7 for 5 years in college and we went through up's and down's together and were by my side as I found out who I was and who they were. Now, I meet people all the time through various channels and we become friends but the bond just isn't the same. They seem more like wanders who spend some time in my life, help me grow, help me along in a difficult time and then they go away either due to marriage, a baby, an argument, etc but they are more like drifters than long lasting friends. It is sad but I feel more compelled to work at my friendships from college and keep those connections no matter the distance than I do with folks that I met later in life. I am not saying this is right by any means. Somtimes I feel like my college friends "know" me better but in reality, they know some version of me that probably doesn't exist any more and the folks I meet now on this journey of life probably know me better. But I don't think we let the walls/boundaries down now as we did back in college so maybe the only person that knows me is really me.

Visits!

2008-04-13T20:24:00.003-04:00

So even though I haven't blogged in awhile apparently my old posts are pretty popular. Maybe I missed my calling as being a real life Carrie Bradshaw! Thanks to all the folks that read and enjoy the blog! I hope to have more inspiration so that I have more things to write.

The Blog...

2008-04-11T09:05:00.003-04:00

The Blog is not gone but perhaps it has been forgotten or neglected. Truthfully, inspiration hasn't really hit lately but I have started a collection of postings that I will post shortly. I feel like you should only write when you are truly inspired and have something to say. So as not to lose the entertainment value of this post, I will comment on a recent stoplight situation that I have observed in Denver. There is an intersection in Denver where all lights are red and you can basically walk diagonal across the street even though there is only one walk sign. Why would you ever have all directions stopped? This isn't a heavy pedestrian area and it was definitely 30 secs - over a minute with all lanes stopped. What is going on in this city?

The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

2008-01-21T13:36:00.000-05:00

If you want a non-formuliac book, this book is for you. It is a little hard to get use to how the book is written but once you do, you easily fall in love with the characters. It makes you wonder that if you know the future, can your decisions now really change it? According to the book, what is destined to happen will happen regardless. The more I have spent time away from this book, the more I want to re-read it or read more about Henry and Clare's life. This really is a fascinating topic and a very interesting love story. I can't wait until the movie comes out and I am ready to read The Time Traveler's Daughter now!

Restaurants of 2007

2008-01-01T21:51:00.000-05:00

I think I probably missed a few new restaurants alon the way but this is a pretty comprehensive list. I ate at places from Atlanta to DC to Utah to Argentina to Florida to Charlotte. If you need ideas for places to go, see the below list of 46 restaurants (so way past my goal of 29, guess this is easy to achieve when you travel for a living).

Sette Osteria (DC/Dupont)
Zola at the Spy Museum (DC)
Georgia Brown's (DC)
Luna Grill and Diner (DC)
Aqua Bistro (GA)
Sushi-Ko (DC)
Canton Chopsticks (GA)
Zona Rosa (UT)
Wabo House (UT)
Red Rock Brewing Co (UT)
Hungry Moose (UT)
The Oceanaire Seafood Room (GA)
Faccia Luna (VA)
J. Paul's (MD)
Lucky Bar (DC)
Peachtree Diner (ATL)
Element (ATL)
Artuzzi's (ATL)
La Frontera Cantina (DC)
Mexicali Blues (VA)
Miss Meg's (NC)
BBQ (No Ga)
Taiphoon (DC)
Jalisco (ATL)
Hydra (Las Lenas)
Los Rosas (Las Lenas)
El Paso (Las Lenas)
El Miraso (Buenos Aires)
El Drugstore (Col)
Caban los Lenas (Buenos Aires)
Café Tortoni (Buenos Aires)
Rio Alba (Buenos Aires)
Innsbruck (Las Lenas)
La Cima (Las Lenas)
Santa Fe (Las Lenas)
Jackie's (Jacksonville)
Casa Dora (Jacksonville)
Nicole's (Amelia Island)
Horizons (Amelia Island)
Baxter's (Amelia Island)
Mudville Grillty (Jacksonville)
Worman's Deli (Jacksonville)
Somewhere in Helen
Sushi 101 (NC)
Thai House (NC)
Greek Isle (NC)

Books of 2007

2008-01-01T21:49:00.000-05:00

And the final count was 23 books - so I missed my mark by 6. Here is the complete list:

The Camel Club by David Baldacci
Dear John by Nicholas Sparks
Everybody Worth Knowing by Lauren Weisberger
When God Winks by SQuire Rushnell
Freakonomics by Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner
When God Winks on Love by Squire Rushnell
Dreams from my Father by Barack Obama
The Book of Fate by Brad Meltzer
Beach Road by James Patterson
Wild Justice by Phillip Margolin
Sleeping Beauty by Phillip Margolin
The Sunflower by Richard Paul Evans
The Broker by John Grisham
Small Miracles of love and friendship by Yitta Halberstam and Judith Leventhal
The Collectors by David Baldacci
Sammy's House by Kristin Gore
Three weeks with my brother by Nicholas Sparks
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling
Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationsips by Chip Ingram
The Choice by Nicolas Sparks
Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen
How to Get a Date Worth Keeping by Dr Henry Cloud

PS I Love You

2008-01-01T21:43:00.000-05:00

I loved this movie despite what the critics say. The plot pulled at my heart strings and I spent much of the movie with quiet tears rolling down my cheeks. This story is for all classic romantics. The actors (Hillary Swank and the oh so hot Gerard Butler) make you fall in love with them and their story. You feel Hillary's pain and hurt over the loss of her husband. The loving letters that her husband sends to help her move on are truly touching. There is true depth to this story. It does help that the husband has an attractive Irish accent and sends his wife on a trip to gorgeous Ireland to help heal her broken heart. This is what everyone wants in life to be loved and have a romance story. It is hard to see the pain of loss and Hillary's performance makes you feel all of her hurts as well as all of her love. The move is not to be missed if you are true romantic and was worth the $10 at the thearte.

PS I Love You

How to Get a Date Worth Keeping

2007-12-31T18:54:00.000-05:00

On my last post of the year, I thought it would be good to finish off with a book that I highly recommend for singles. I think that if every single person read this book then it would revolutionize dating. It would help take away our preconceived ideas that each date must be "the one" and if he/she isn't then it isn't worth getting to know them. It also helps us to take a look at ourselves and what is preventing us from dating - what is going on the inside? One friend read this book with me and she had originally scoffed at the books’ ideas but she has taken them to heart and it has changed her approach to dating. I would say that for both of us it has opened up new doors and changed the way we look at and approach dating. Dating should be fun and not a chore so enjoy it! I recommend this book for all singles that struggle with dating and to any married person who has a single friend - tell them about this book! The book is "How to Get a Date Worth Keeping" by Dr Henry Cloud. He says you will be dating in 6 months if you follow his formula. I will keep you posted! So look for a post in June 2008!

Full 2007 book list and the rest of my Things to Do list summary coming soon.

Cities in 2007

2007-12-21T17:05:00.000-05:00

As 2007 comes to a close, I am wrapping up my 29 themed Things to Do in 2007 list. You will see over the next few posts where I succeeded (and some cases excelled) and other places that I didn't come close. Either way, it was fun to track.

First up, all the cities I visited (and a cool feature I just found on google maps!). The final count is 23 cities - if I had only gone to a few more small towns in GA or counted all those cities I slept through on a 16 hr bus ride in Argentina...

View Larger Map

Eyes

2007-12-09T22:24:00.000-05:00

I was told for the upteenth time today that I look like Erica Christensen. So I once again looked her up on IMDB and found one picture that if I squint, I can see it. I decided that we have similar eyes so that must be what people see and I guess we both sort of have round faces. So to prove this theory I put together a group of eyes - some are Erica's, some are mine, some are my sisters. So for those that know me, try to figure out which is mine vs Erica's and this will help prove my point.

Snoring on the Plane

2007-12-09T21:42:00.000-05:00

This is not Snakes on the Plane but instead Snoring on the Plane. I wish I was able to blog this morning when I was experiencing the gentlemen next to me snoring firsthand. We sat on the tarmac for awhile and from the moment this rather large man sat down next to me, he was snoring. Of course it was distracting and rude and I kept thinking that I should tap him on the shoulder and politely say "Excuse me, just wanted to let you know you were snoring" but then the other part of me wanted to yell at him to stay awake and stop bothering other passengers. Of course, I was also upset because he was seeping onto my seat so I finally strategically placed my People magazine between my leg and his because I really don't like when strangers touch me. When we finally became airborne my dear seat mate decided to become very agitated and wouldn't stop moving, he reached over me and closed the shade (how rude), he jacked up the air so it was blowing directly on him and he wouldn't stop moving. So needless to say he has won the Worse Seatmate award. When we landed he immediately move the armrest up and by doing so hit my arm and he mumbled excuse me. I didn't want the barrier between us broken but I momentarily sucked it up because I knew my agony was about to end. What would you do in this situation? I immediately thought of weigh limits and requiring people to list their weight when booking a flight or do a weigh in at the gate. It is not fair for those of us that fit into seats to be taken over by the fat folks of the world. Sure they say it isn't their fault for being fat but do they exercise? Does their meal plan consist of McDonald's hamburgers? So that is my vent for today.

New Blog Title

2007-12-02T18:08:00.000-05:00

After reading Eat Pray Love, I have had the inspiration to rename my blog. I have moved on from my list centering around 29 and I am embracing (at least trying to) the big 3-0 so in light of that, my blog will now be "Love Pray Eat".

Eat Love Pray

2007-12-02T17:55:00.000-05:00

I justed finished reading Eat Pray Love: One Woman's Search for Everything across Italy, India and Indonesia be Elizabeth Gilbert. I didn't originally want to read this book but after searching the book store and picking up book after book that followed the CSI type of formula, I decided to go for something different. This afterall is a memoir about a woman finding herself and I thought at least she goes to Italy which is one country that I have fallen in love with.

So I began the book and I really should have blogged along the way because there are lessons she (and I) learned as she trekked through Italy, India, and Indonesia. As you can probably guess by the title she ate a lot in Italy, prayed a lot in India, and fell in love in Indonesia. What I like about the book is that she rediscovers herself and really takes an indepth look at herself and fixes what is wrong. She is finally honest with herself and why her life has taken the path that it has and she rights it. I think Ch 58 was among my favorite when she talks about prayer being a relationship and how it should be deliberate and specific and not lazy. I enjoy all of her tales of Italy and all the places she goes and all the places she eats and how she learns Italian along the way. I attempted to learn Italian before I went there but there was no hope for me. I loved learning about India and Indonesia - 2 places I have never been and really never thought about going. Reading about those cultures was fascinating to me.

The chapters are each centered around one central theme and some are as short as a page which made the book for quite an easy read. I don't agree with some of her beliefs on Christianity - I think she needs to do some more soul searching in this area but I do think she has some good ideas about quieting the mind and removing the distractions of life and being still. I don't think I will start daily hour long meditation sessions but I can see how those can be a useful tool as you navigate the busy American life style. Liz is quite candid in her storytelling and lets you see her most inner thoughts so that you feel like she is one of your best friends. I would love to take a year off and travel the world in 4 month increments. Where would you go if you did that? I think I would start with Italy but who knows where next...I will have to ponder that more. I do think it is good for all of us to take a step back and be introspective and not let life pass us by. What do we all really want out of life? What is life all about for us? We should answer these questions and make it happen.

So despite some disagreements with the author's religious beliefs and my initial hesitation in reading the book, I would definitely recommend this book.

Live Together or Get Married?

2007-11-29T22:20:00.000-05:00

I will start with a disclaimer to say that many of my friends have chosen to live together before marriage and I in no way mean to offend them or judge their decision, this is just a blog about my own personal beliefs for myself.

So it seems our generation is faced at some point in a relationship with the question of whether or not to move in together or to get married? They may not view the question as this but it really is what it comes down. My living together you get to "test drive" marriage without the commitment. It seems that over the last few days I have learned that a good percentage of my co-workers live with their significant other. It got me thinking about why they made that decision. For me, I wouldn't even consider it unless I was engaged and close to getting married and even then I don't know if I would do it. To me they are sitting up house and doing everything that married couples do without the total commitment to each other. It is no wonder that so many of these relationships fail because by just living together there is an "out" clause. I guess some would argue that divorce is the "out" clause of marriage but if you really want to be married and really believe in the vows of better or for worse and sickness and in health then you don't include an "out" clause. I don't understand why so many people chose to live together. I can already hear the arguments...it is cheaper, we are together all the time anyway, we are committed...well if all is that is true, why are you scared of marriage? I think so many marriages fail is because we have forgotten what the intent of marriage is and we have forgotten to take it so seriously. We fall in love but don't bother to answer questions like: Are we compatible? Do we both agree on how to handle money? Do we share common religious beliefs? Do we both want kids and if so, how many? Do we prefer to live in the city? Do we want to live near family? Will both people be at home (aka not travel) once we have kids? There are so many questions like this that most couples don't think about but if they took the time to answer these questions (and many more like these) honestly and seriously then maybe we would start to get more marriages right and we as a society wouldn't feel like we had to "test it out".

Vent - Rude Wait Staff?

2007-11-25T22:08:00.000-05:00

Multiple people including myself have encountered an interesting phenomenon at restaurants lately. It seems that the waiter/waitress feels like it is in their job description to join in and interrupt your conversation while they wait on you. It is one thing to ask if I want more tea but for the wait staff to enter my conversation and overstay their welcome by participating in my table mates and my conversation. What is going on? Can't a waiter/waitress just take my order, check on me, bring my food and give me the check? I don't need their advice, I don't need their friendship...I just need my food! So this is my vent for the day.

Josh Kelley Rocks!

2007-10-28T17:27:00.001-04:00

I just went to the Josh Kelley concert at Smith's Old Bar this weekend. Right now he is touring with Pat McGee and the show was awesome. Josh is quite the entertainer. He not only easily connects with the audience, his songs and voice rocks. He had the whole room grooving to his music and jamming with his band. He is a very likable character and easy on the eyes for us ladies! He mingled with the crowd after his set and while Pat McGee was playing. If you haven't heard his music, then I would definitely check out his website and his myspace page. I usually compare him to Jack Johnson and John Mayer but after going to his concert I think he blows both of them out of the water. I have his CD "Just say the Word" but his Fall Sampler is even better and has some great new and creative songs and is not quite as mello as "Just Say the Word". His music usually falls under the Folk genre but I wouldn't necessarily classify it as Folk, more new rock with a mellow twist. I can't wait for his new CD which comes out in Feb!

Pat McGee put on a good show but not near as entertaining as Josh. About halfway through the show they mentioned that it was the anniversary of the death of their drummer so after that I understood the low key atmosphere a little more. The opening act Sons of William also deserve a shout out. They were not as entertaining as Josh (which makes since because they are newer artist) but their music was pretty good. Definitely check out all these artists! Oh and I will throw out some love for one of my new favorite bands Lady Antebellum. This is a country group made up of Charles Kelley (Josh's bro), Dave Haywood, and Hillary Scott. The two guys and Josh all are from Augusta my hometown so I have to give them a shout out and show some love. Their music is great too so if any of these folks come to your town, it is definitely worth checking them out.

Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships by Chip Ingram

2007-10-26T17:58:00.001-04:00

Seems that my blog has kind of turned into a review blog. Yes, this is another book review. Maybe I missed my calling in life to write...that can be another blog entry. So onto Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships by Chip Ingram. I just finished reading this book. I actually listened to Chip's talk on this topic about 3 years ago so some of it sounded familar. This book has come at a good time in my life. When I first started the introduction, I immediately but the book down because I didn't want to read something that made me feel bad about being single or read yet again more tips on how to find a mate. I begrudingly picked it up again a few weeks ago and am glad that I did because it has revolutionized how I think about dating, love, and marriage. This book isn't just for singles either it is for married folk, divorcees, young people, old people, etc. I would recommend this book for all ages. I won't attempt to do the book justice by trying to capture the main themes but in general I now of a new and better outlook on how I am going to approach finding love. Instead of waiting for the right person, fall in love, and put all my hopes in a person, I am going to instead become the right person, walk in love, and put my faith in God (ok, so I stole one theme). I am also not going to pressure myself to find the one or fall in love, instead I am looking for male friends. Not dates, friends and if it develops later then great. I think I missed out on some of my greatest loves in college that were my friends because we could never be on the same page about dating. Either I liked them and they didn't like me and vice versa. Good thing is that while I may have missed out on being their great love, they are still my friends to this day. So I encourage everyone (single, married, divorced, dating, etc) to read this book. It will challenge your way of thinking and make you look at relationships in a whole new (and better) way.

Two Urban Licks

2007-10-13T15:00:00.000-04:00

I just went to Two Urban Licks last night for dinner. I have one word - Trendy. Well, two words - Trendy and Yummy. We had a 730pm reservation and the place was packed. When we left there were probably 50 people waiting so key to going to this place is going early and having a reservation. The outside porch and far dining area have an awesome view of the skyline of Atlanta. The food is a little on the expensive side - expect to pay $100 for 2 people. This would be a great 4th or 5th date place or a good place for an anniversary. It is a little loud on the inside so it isn't ideal for date number one but a good special occasion place. The restaurant isn't in a rush to turn over tables so you are able to enjoy your meal at a leaisurely pace - if you are looking for a quick meal, you should try somewhere else. The restaurant is in a a warehouse just off Ralph McGuill and not many other restaurants are around. It is definitely a hidden spot - much like Eclipse de Luna. This is a definite must if you haven't visited her before. Next time I go, I plan to request outside seating or a booth and definitely go with a date!

God is Closer Than You Think by John Ortberg

2007-10-07T21:09:00.000-04:00

I just finished reading God is Closer Than You Think by John Ortberg. It is a quick read at about 170 pages. The chapters usually start with good visual images like the picture of Adam and God at the top of the Sistine Chapel (The Creation of Adam), the Where's Waldo book, A Beautiful Mind movie or the Princess Bride movie and then Ortberg explains how these concepts can relate to your relationship with God.

One part of the book talks about how you shouldn't feel guilty for reading the newspaper over The Bible or watching TV. Instead you should invite God to do these activities with you. God wants to be part of your life not just be part of the moments where you need him. Also, it talks about which pathway you most connect with God. Some people are more intellectual, others relational, some are activists while some are worshippers or servers and some are contemplative and others are creationist. I think I fit in a couple of these areas - intellectual, relational and creationist. We all our own ways of experiencing a relationship with God.

I think this book is a great (and quick) read and it can help jump start your relationship with God or just offer some good ways to connect with God.

Fighting Cancer

2007-10-03T11:51:00.000-04:00

My sister is currently undergoing proton therapy radiation treatment in FL for a brain tumor. We didn't know anything about this kind of treatment yet it is on the cutting edge of fighting cancer. Proton radiation is different from photo radiation in that it doesn't have an exit ray so healthy tissues on the exit side of the tumor are not hit. Proton therapy can also be more precise than photon.

One thing we have learned about doctors throughout this process is that they don't know everything, a 2nd opinion can save your life, and doing research on your own on the internet is a good idea. To help pass this information along, I wanted to do a blog posting. There are currently 5 proton centers in the US and they are building more here and abroad. They can treat brain tumors, prostate cancer, bone cancer and probably other cancers that I don't know about. They are working on treating advanced forms of breast cancer and tumors in movable areas like your lungs. There is new technology that is able to track your breathing patterns and how your body moves so that the radiation will move as you breathe and hit the tumor spot. This helps reduce the error field and therefore reduces the good cells that it hits. Please share this with anyone you know that has cancer because it coult work for them. We have found that a lot of doctors don't know about this kind of therapy because they just haven't heard about it.

The FL proton center is a very positive place. The atmosphere is more like a doctor's office than a hospital - the staff doesn't wear scrubs and the walls are warm colors not white. The staff and patients are very friendly and it really feels like you are surrounded by family. They have an excellent patient support system in place - lunches, dinners, and donuts! I have seen how sharing your story and hearing about others can really aid in the healing process. I have also seen that having a positive attitude makes all the difference in the world in the healing process.

Three Weeks with My Brother by Nicolas Sparks

2007-09-20T22:09:00.000-04:00

I just finished reading Three Weeks with My Brother by Nicolas Sparks. When I originally heard that this book was coming out, I pretty much dismissed it as something I didn't want to read. I have read many of Sparks' books to date - The Notebook (twice), Dear John, The Wedding, Bend in the Road, etc. But this new book was about a trip around the world that he and his brother took. I changed my mind about the book after I planned a 4 week with my sister. While my trip isn't around the world - it is just down to FL - it is a once in a life time adventure as my sister undergoes radiation. So I bought the book and ironically at the same time my grandmother bought the book for my sister. So upon my arrival in FL, we started the book together. Little did I know that in addition to reading about all the great places around the world, I would also be reading a memoir of Nicholas Sparks' life. The book in quite introspective and you come to love his parents, his brother and sister and his family just like he does with each turn of the page. You become so connected to the story that you begin to see yourself in the story and you begin to feel his hurts as he experienced the deaths of his mother, father and then sister. This story hits close to home because his sister has a brain tumor and while she is able to fight if off for several years (7, I think) she ends up dying very leaves behind with two small children and a husband. My sister has a brain tumor and while her prognosis is much sunnier, it definitely reminds you about what could go wrong and the pain that you could feel. But as the book reminds you, you must continue to love, trust in God and live. So I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to explore themselves, read about cities around the world, and share in a beautiful story of family, faith and love.

Cooking Light

2007-09-18T20:38:00.000-04:00

My sister and I cooked this yummy recipe today. Most people know that I don't cook but this was quick and easy and very yummy so I had to share. We made blackened chicken and grilled avacado tacos. I was suprised at how tasty the avacados were and it is a nice twist on an old fashioned mexican dish.

Kissing on a First Date

2007-07-24T18:59:00.000-04:00

I saw this video posted on MSN and thought it was pretty funny. It is about a 3 and a half minute video about reading the signs on whether or not to go in for the kiss on the first date. It made me laugh because I think the older I get, the more I revert to being 16 when it comes to dating. Maybe it is because I am out of practice or maybe it is because I have moved past the haze of college when everything seems acceptable. Hope you enjoy this good laugh too.

Atlanta is #3

2007-07-15T10:11:00.000-04:00

Atlanta is #3 on the List of Best Cities for Young Professionals. I was kind of surpised - thought we would be 5-8 but glad we are at number 3. Of course my stat to figure this information out isn't even accounted for because I didn't go to the likes of Harvard and I stayed in the same city as my college. The article is pretty interesting, any guesses on #1? It shouldn't be a surprised - actually most cities aren't really a suprise just the order they fall in.

Halfway to Dooms Day

2007-07-05T20:58:00.000-04:00

Everyone keeps telling me to stop referring to turning 30 as "the death march to 30". That is easy for you to say because you are either over the hill and are glad for me to join you or you are far enough of way to later say to me that it is so great to be 20. So from where I sit right now in July, I rather be heading towards any birthday in my 20s than my 30the birthday. I love college and would trade it all for those happy go lucky days. Maybe I romanticize the college days because studying for Thermo or writing an English paper was sure no phone but waking up at 10am, 11am, noon was great and always having someone around to stuff with was awesome and going to a party down the street from your house every weekend wasn't so bad either. While I reminiscence about the good old days and try to think of new ways not to look like I am that old girl in the club, I will recount for you where I am on my List of Things to Do in 2007....

Drum roll please....

1. Flights - 52, I think I am on my way to doubling 29 on this one
2. New restaurants - 24, a very distant 2nd but close to my goal of 29
3. Cities - 13
4. Books I have Read - 12, definitely doable to make 29

And that pretty much rounds out anything that is close to 29. I think I will accomplish my 29 hrs of skiing because I am going skiing for 5 days soon and have already been for 3. I probably have met 29 people but if I didn't catch your name or didn't have a meaningful convo then I haven't counted you. I have field 2 kickball teams where I have maybe know 5-10 people so that in itself would hit the 29 mark. The date category has not changed since my 1Q checkin - I would like for that number to improve. I am sitting at goose eggs for hrs at the beach (this makes me very sad) and holes of golf (maybe I should strive for hitting 29 balls at a driving range).

Despite my list be less than complete, I feel like to date I have accomplished a lot this year and will have found memories of 2007. I did the muddy buddy race again, I went biking on the silver comet trail with my family for Father's Day, I have had several good vacations to the mtns and have a great vaca coming up. I will strive to hit my marks on my list but I know some goals were high and would be like climbing Mt Everest. I have other personal goals that weren't on the list of 29 so I am also happy about that. So this is me checking in, back to day dreaming of the good old days...

The Sunflower

2007-07-05T20:47:00.000-04:00

I just finished reading The Sunflower by Richard Paul Evans. It is probably the most touching book that I have a read in quite so time and what makes this unique is that it is a based on a true story. The book is exotic because the story takes you on a journey following a humanitarian effort through the jungles of Peru. It is also a love story and how love is more powerful than pain. Each chapter is a diary extert of one of the main characters and follows the journey of a woman finding herself and a man who has done so much for others finally finds peace. I would encourage everyone to read this book - it is a quick read and I think you can find out a lot about yourself and how it is important to remember that you are one in this huge world and what may seem like a big problem to you is a luxury for others. And that we all have the strength to go on, we sometimes just need that extra push from a friend and someone to believe in us that we have the strength to do anything. Anyone want to go to Peru?

Knocked Up

2007-06-18T21:22:00.000-04:00

My sisters and I saw Knocked Up with Katherine Heigel and Seth Rogan. I thought it was funny and definitely a guy and girl type of funny. I was a little shocked by the vulgar language but I should have expected that since it came from the same director as the 40 Year Old Virgin. The movie did make you root for the couple to stay together and you begin to like Seth's character even though he is clearly a loser in the beginning. I will say that in real life there is a .001 chance that the couple who has a one night stand and end up pregnant will actually get together and last. They won't have these fun moments shopping for the baby or going to the doctor. The story was entertaining but if you put it in perspective and think about it in real life then it would never happen that way. The ending wouldn't be so clean and everything wouldn't wrap up nicely. I have seen this happen to people and they are forever broken - even when they are whole, the smallest part feels broken.

Big Love

2007-06-11T22:21:00.000-04:00

I watched Big Love last night for the first time on HBO. It is a show about a polygamist family. The show is not short on star power with Bill Paxton, Jean Tripplehorn, Chloe Savigny, and Gennifer Goodwin playing the husband and 3 wives. The show was quite interesting to me. It was especially interesting to see that the 2nd wife said she married both the first wife and the husband not just the husband and then the 3rd wife said the same thing about the 2 wives and the husband. They seemed to work as a team and not really harbor any jealousy - but I do know it was a TV show. I have never watched this show but think I will continue to watch it to see how the storylines develop. The 2nd season just started with the family being outed as polygamists - the first wife had the hardest time with this b/c she was married to Bill for 12 yrs before he took in his 2nd wife and she was dealing with how her life had changed. I can't even imagine being part of a polygamist but they seemed like a typical family full of love.

One note on the latest book that I read - "Wild Justice" by Phillip Margolin. The book is a typical criminal drama/whodoneit kind of storyline. While the plot has a twist at the end, I thought the twist was pretty predictable. I will say that the book made me want to sleep with the lights on and had me jumping at any noise around the house making me think that there was an intruder!

Oprah's Debt Diet

2007-06-08T16:55:00.000-04:00

I just watched today's episode of Oprah and the show was on getting out of debt. She had a lot of good suggestions and most are posted on her webite at http://oprah.com/jean. Jean Chatzky (author of Make Money, Not Excuses) gave her expert advice to do the following 4 things to start saving and get out of debt:
1. Max your Income
2. Spend less than you Make (ie pause before you buy)
3.Invest the money that you aren't spending (should be earning at least 5%)
4.Protect your money

I thought I would put this great advice out there on the web. I have said many times that I think colleges do a dis-service by not havine a required class about budgets, 401Ks, investing, etc. So now is the time to learn ourselves with a little effort. There is also a link to find money groups in your area - one group on the show was called the "Smart Cookies". They said it was good to find a money group so that you can have someone hold you accountable ans have people to share your financial goals. One point they made too was that it is important for women to have money in their own name so when you marry, make sure you have control over some of your own money.

Google Earth

2007-06-05T22:01:00.000-04:00

Tonight I was watching part of the Glenn Beck show on CNN's Headline News. The anchor that was in for Glenn - MICHAEL SMERCONISH - was asking "expert" - JOHN PIKE, DIRECTOR, GLOBALSECURITY.ORG - about this concern over terrorists using Google Earth.

His response was - "Well, I`m not overly concerned about it. I think that it speaks to the relatively low quality of this terrorist plot. I mean, the problem that you`ve got with the imagery in Google Earth is that you don`t know how old it is. You don`t know whether you`re looking at an image that`s a month old, a year old, or a decade old."

Then he is later asked about this type of technology falling into the wrong hands and he says - "Well, no, I think that we need to continue to look at this. I mean, one good example of it is that we`re going to be having a new series of commercial imagery satellites. They`re going to have much better pictures than the existing satellites do. And one of the speed bumps that the government has put into place is that you`re going to be restricted to getting yesterday`s image tomorrow. The satellite could give you this morning`s image this afternoon, but just to have that extra measure of precaution, there`s going to be a 24- hour hold back, I understand, to make sure that you`re only seeing what was happening a couple of days ago, rather than earlier today. So we`re always drawing the line as the technology develops to make sure that we`re striking a proper balance between security and freedom.:

Does anyone else think he contradicts himself? The moderator didn't even call him on his contradiction instead he just ended the show. In one answer he says the Google Earth is safe b/c you don't know if the imagery is a year old, a month old and as part of the interview he says that in the time between when the pictures where taken and when you view it then a security checkpoint could have been built or troops could have moved positions. But later he says with improved technology that you will be able to see this morning's images in the afternoon and that the government is drawing a line in the sand. I would argue a very thin line and although it isn't real time - a security booth isn't going to be built where there wasn't one in 12 hrs. I do think the government needs to better monitor tools such as Google Earth. They should log people who are looking at airport layouts for instance or maybe restrict access to potential risky areas on a map. (Quotes and full transcripts can be found at the Glenn Beck website for 6/5/07.)

Also Google Earth just release a street level map which is cool for users who may want to find a place down the street to eat but is a very scary tool if it is used in the wrong hands. I think we need to safeguard ourselves by monitoring what is put on the internet for just anyone to use. Why doesn't the government put restrictions on what Google Earth can do and better yet why doesn't Google Earth police themselves and ask what is best to put on the internet to keep our citizens safe vs potentially endangering them.

I hope this sparks discussion/debate or at least gets your wheels turning - this is my attempt at educate myself outside of the Hollywood knowledge and to spread the word on issues that concern me.

Bobby Kennedy Jr

2007-05-30T20:55:00.000-04:00

Ironically in the same weekend that I watched Bobby, I also read an article that my mom found - an interview with Bobby Kennedy Jr in the January 2007 Oprah magazine.

There were several exterts that caught my attention. One being Bobby's opinion on how we can reduce fuel costs and reduce our dependence on oil in the Middle East. I wish I had the article so I could explain it but basically if we all reduced our consumption (ie drive a prius what gets 44 mpg intead of Hummers that get what, 10 mph) then we would be helping the economy. He has a theory of pollution-based prosperity which was an interesting take on how to improve the environment.

He also pointed out that all of American is in love with celebrities and gossip and his point is that we know more about who wore what at an awards show or who won American Idol than what is going on the news. I think this is true and very very sad. I know that I for one read Entertainment News everyday and even get People magazine every week. Maybe I should change that subscription to Newsweek. I do think as American it is our priveledge to learn about different issues and form opinions. Maybe I should have an opinion outside who should win Dancing with the Stars or American Idol - I think we all should. It is our right and our duty as Americans.

One extert from the interview about this Bobby talks about his Father's legacy:

"he felt ..America is the last best hope for humanity. And that we had this historical mission to build a country that would be a paradigm to the rest of the world and to about what human beings can accomplish if they work together and maintain their focus on a spiritual mission....He wanted to invite people to our country who were communists and who were all kidns of people and debat them, because he believed on the merits that this country was so good and that is ideas were so good that we shouldn't be scared of debating or meeting with anybody.''

Makes you ask what America missed out on by not allowing RFK to lead this country. What would he have done? Where would we be now? I think it would have been an interesting ride and wish we could have seen it..lived it.

Another topic that Bobby Jr and Oprah discuss was how the opinion of America has changed since the JFK/RFK days. I think he said it well and I tend to agree with his words. Here is a short extert:

"When I was a boy, my father took me to Europe-Greece, Czechoslovakia, Poland, Italy, Germany, England, France. Everywhere we went, we were met by huge crowds, sometimes hundreds of thousands of people who came out because they loved our country. They were starved for our leadership. They looked to us for moral authority. They proudly named their streets after our presidents. And I remember after 9/11, the headline in the French newspaper lea Monet was WE ARE ALL AMERICANS. For two weeks after 9/11, there were spontaneous candlelight vidils in Tehran, initiated by Muslims who loved our country. It took more than 200 years of disciplined, visioniary leadership by Republican and Democratic presidents to build these huge reservoirs of public love. We were the most beloved nation on the face of the earth. And today-in six short years, through monumental incompetence and arrogance, this White House has absolutley drained that reservoir dry. America has become the most hated nation on earth. There are five billion people who either fear or just don't know what to think about the US. For me that's the most bitter pill to swallow."

In my opinion, we have lost that American feeling. We now live in a land where everyone feels that they have a right to sue someone for looking at them wrong. We live in a land where we think we are the greatest, the smartest, the best and every other country should be glad that we reach out to help them. That is not why America was founded. I hope that we are able to reverse the damage that has been done to the environment over the last 10 years and I hope that we are able to repair the American spirit not just at home but across the globe.

Movie Reviews

2007-05-29T21:25:00.000-04:00

So I am cheating by writing this review right after my book review but waiting to post it. This weekend, I saw The Good Shepherd and Bobby.

The Good Shepherd

This movie was loooong - 3 hrs long. I think a few scenes could have been cut so the movie was shorter. I must admit the setting that I watched this movie was a little loud so I missed some of the quiter moments of the movie - and there are a lot of these. I think overall the movie was good and Matt Damon did a good job - even though he doesn't really say much. It is kind of like watching Tom Hanks in Castaway and he just is my himsel on the island. Anyway, the movie is good if you have 3 hrs to spare and a quiet place to watch it. Angelina Jolie is in the movie but in a very small role. Alec Baldwin is even in the movie and I for one barely recognized him. As a side note, it also had Gabriel Macht in a very small role - I first saw him in the romantic comedy Because I Said So and think he is very good looking and apparently is was in an episode of 90210 (my college TV show of choice)! I give this movie a B.

Bobby

I wanted to see this movie when it first came out last Nov but it seems that it made a quick run through the theatres and the critics weren't too kind to the movie. At about halfway through the movie, I would have agreed with the critics but the ending of the movie makes the movie. You see how all the people the movie has been following (the kitchen mgr, bus boy, campaign workers, hotel mgr, salon owner, lounge singer, couple on vacation) all are affected by the tragedy of Bobby Kennedy being shot. I thought the movie did a good job of seamlessly transition between real footage of the shooting to the movie shots covering the same event. My dad and I watched this part of the movie in silence. After the movie ended, it gave us a lot of food for thought. What would have happened had he not been shot? Why did Bobby get ahead of his security? Why were all those people in the kitchen? RFK went from a high to a very big low - he had just won the CA primary and given a speech to a roomful of supporters only to be shot a few mins later and dash a roomful of people's hope... a country's hope. You see how all the people spent their day leading up to the shooting and how after the shooting, they are all equal and only one man doesn't survive. I give this movie an A+ mainly for the conversations that it will start and a glimpse into history that is slowing fading in our country's memory.

Book Reviews

2007-05-28T19:29:00.000-04:00

I have taken a break from blogging - not purposefully, I just havent had inspiration. But of course, inspiration hits all at once so I am going to write a few blogs and post them over the next few days. So first up, Book Review time!

I have recently read Dreams from My Father by Barack Obama. I picked it up in the airport bookstore after going through about 20 books and finding none of them satisfying. Every back cover seemed to either be like a romantic themed book or a murder/mystery book that I had read a 1000s times. So I went with the lesser traveled road and purchased Obama's book partly because it was different but mostly out of curosity to find out more about the man who has thrown his hat in for the presidency. I would say that this book is a memoir - a true memoir not a memoir like A Millon Little Pieces is a memoir. Obama wrote the book after law school and the book traces his life from childhood in Hawaii, to his first big job in Chicago, and then to Kenya to explore his father's past and find out who this man was that loomed in his life yet never really played a role. I thought the book was well written and interesting. I would say the years in the Chicago were least interesting to me but were important in explaining the journey Obama has taken through life. My one argument with the book is that Obama keeps seeking to understand who he is as a black man. But he isn't a black man - his mother is white and his father is African. He is part white yet he is always struggling as a black man in a white world. I do appreciate the journey and the experiences he has, I just don't know why he doesn't feel equally compelled to trace his white history as well. Overall, an A+ and a good read that I would recommend.

As an aside, while I was reading this book I sat next to a young man in college who had read the book and was starting The Audacity of Hope - Obama's recent book. We discussed the merits of Obama and I think his ideas are great and would be behind him for the presidency except that he seems young and doesn't have the experience. I wish he had waited 4 more years or 8 more years to through his hat in because I think his unique life experiences and opinions would (and will and does) serve our country well.

Enough of the political banter, on to the next review. I just finished The Book of Fate by Brad Meltzer. I have read several of his other books and classify his writing in the same strain as Dave Balducci. His books always center around the White House and major players in the government. This was a great read and while it follows the traditional murder mystery outline, it has a lot of good twists and turns and several underlying plot lines that keep the reader interested. I think his writing is a breath of fresh air in the murder/mystery genre. I will keep coming back for more as long as his books involve characters from DC who play major roles in government whether that be in the executive, judicial, or legislative branch. I hope he continues to write interesting books for us all to enjoy.

For Lost Lovers

2007-05-17T11:55:00.000-04:00

Here are 2 websites that I have found very helpful in helping me navigate the world of Lost and to help me see the things that I missed.

Screensnaps of things you may have missed - http://losteastereggs.blogspot.com/

Lost Wikipedia - http://www.lostpedia.com/wiki/Main_Page

Now that we won't see Lost for 8 more months, I have even more questions than before and a lot of unanswered questions that I think have been lost (excuse the pun) in between the Others, the hostiles, the back of the plane people, and the original cast. In an attempt to keep the Lost questions fresh ...for 8 long months. Here are my thoughts/questions after the finale...

1. Do they really get off the island?
2. Why didn't Charlie run out of the room and then shut the door?
3. Why did Locke kill Naomi only to walk away seconds later when Jack calls for help?
4. If Ben really didn't want Jack to call for help, why didn't he give a bette reason than "you don't want to do this"? If I was Jack, I definitely would want to do it because Ben and the Others kidnapped me and killed some of my own people. Hello, Ben!
5. Who is Jacob and how is he related to everything?
6. Does Richard really not age or was it bad make-up?
7. Why doesn' Mikahil ever die?
8. What happened to Ben's friend Annie? Did she get gassed too?
9. What happend between the gassing of the Dharma Initiative and the plane crash?
10. Who was Kate going back to in the flah foward?
11. Is the flashfoward going to come true?
12. Where are the igloo people that Penelope hired to find Desmond?
13. What's with the smoke monster/machine on the island?
14. Did Walt and Michael really return home?
15. Juliette - friend or foe? What is her motivation?
16. For Kate - Jack or Sawyer?
17. Does the guy who plays Hurley get his feelings hurt with all the fat jokes?
18. Who did Jack talk to on the phone? / Who was Naomi working for?

I tried to get to 20 but I am done thinking about this for 8 looong months!

Map of Visitors

2007-04-30T17:46:00.000-04:00

I can check where folks come from to view my page via StatCounter so I wanted to share who has visisted recently because I thought it was pretty cool. I have had visitors from Australia to Thailand to Egypt to the US. This is where the servers are located so the people aren't necessarily in that area but I am thinking that if the server is in Egypt then someone in that area is probably checking out my blog. Very cool!

Element and Artuzzi's

2007-04-30T10:59:00.001-04:00

I ate at 2 new restaurants this weekend – this is has been one of the easier lists to complete. I am already up to 29 new restaurants! Element is in the former Cherry location on West Peachtree in Atlanta. It was fairly empty when we were there and we were there 8-11pm on a Sat. They server Spanish tapas and I would definitely recommend this place to friends. The restaurant is multiple levels and they even have some lounges separate from the dining tables that are perfect for a happy hour. We all ordered several tapas – my favorite were the tuna, goat cheese, asparagus, and chicken. Element seems good for groups (we were a party of 9) but also cozy enough for a romantic dinner for 2. Parking may be the only bad thing about this new restaurant – they utilize the AVS parking next door but that is only 6 spots so you either have to find street parking or pay in one of the midtown lots.

I was pleasantly surprised with my dinner from Artuzzi’s. When I walked in, I thought I was at Moe’s or one of the other Raving Brands restaurants because of the bright décor and dining area. Like Moe’s you can see your food being prepared but you can chose dining service vs takeout. I ordered mushroom ravioli with freshe sauce (eggplant, tomato, mozzarella, olive oil, basil) and it tasted just like one of my favorite pastas from Figo. Artuzzi’s seems like a fast food Italian restaurant but the food was up to par with Maggiano’s and Figo. The prices were more than Eats (my favorite dive in Atlanta) but I definitely plan to go back because the pasta was fresh and very flavorful!

Celeb Sighting

2007-04-29T18:07:00.000-04:00

I had my first celeb sighting (if you don't count Mike from the Real World NY and I don't count him) in Atlanta on Sat night. I saw Charles Barkley at Lotus Lounge. I got there at 1115 and he was already there and he was still there when I left at 130. He was just hanging out at the bar. My friend got her picture taken with him because it was her bachelorette party but I only got within about 5 ft of him. I did talk to his trainer for a few minutes but that is close as I came so meeting him so I guess I am 1 degree away from Charles now. For the most part, he seemed to be hanging out and people weren't really bothering him too much. I would hate it if I was trying to hang out with my friends and kept getting interrupted. Ironically, we were in a VIP lounge and he was just at the bar so he was very accessible and seemed very friendly.

One Decision

2007-04-29T15:52:00.000-04:00

It is kind of crazy to think that one decision can totally alter your life. Of course when you think of all the mini-decisions that make up your day and combine them with you big decisions, it definitely makes for a wild ride called life. I was thinking about this today because of 1 recent conversation and 1 recent news event. First, I was thinking of a friend who had a child in high school and basically that decision that was worth 5 secs of pleasure has cost a lifetime. I am not advocating that the child shouldn't be born, I am just pointing out that his life was forever altered and some may consider that it is a grade B life when it could have been grade A because that decision led to more seemingly "bad" decisions. I also thought about all the kids the decided to go to class one Monday morning at VT and others that slept in - this ended up being a life or death decision. Very scary. I then thought about a car accident that i had a few years ago, I almost got off at the exit before (I was so close to doing that) but went one more exit and got into an accident. It makes you wonder about all of the little decisions that you make (going back inside because you forgot something, waiting for a stoplight instead of running it, going jogging at 4pm instead of 6pm, etc) that could have totally altered you life. It is so crazy! Kind of like that movie Sliding Doors with Gweneth Paltrow - I wish I could know which decisions would lead to a more fruitful life and which ones would lead me down a bad path. Guess this is why life is an adventure and we all do the best we can. Something to think about.

Why I wouldn't date...

2007-04-27T09:52:00.000-04:00

MSN posted 2 articles this week - Why I wouldn't Date Him and Why I dumped Her. I thought these 2 articles were interesting for a couple of reasons. One was that the article about why I would date Him hit home with many. Many of the reasons listed are the reasons I wouldn't date someone - bad manners, being cheap, zero ambition, being neglectful, and being too indepedent. I can remember one date where the guy barely tipped on our dinner and I thought he was being cheap. I have dated a guy and a friend has dated a guy where you often wonder what their ambitions are, they move from job to job aimlessly and just want them to get their act together and priorities straight. I also think communication is important and once you have been dating awhile then sometimes the guy does become neglectful. Once I was waiting up for my boyfriend to come by at 11 and he didn't show up until 1 - I didn't care that he was late, I was mad because he didn't call to say he was going to be late. Not because he has a curfew and has to check in with me but because I worried that something happend to him. I don't think I have experienced a Mr Independent but I am sure that that would bother me and of course bad manners speaks for itself. If you are rude - a boyfriend or a friend - I rather not spend time with you.

So aside from the "him" article mimicking most of my own thoughts, I thought it was interesting that the "him" and "her" articles were quite different. It just shows you what is important to women and men are different. The dumping her article includes reasons such as being dependent, nagging, being obsessessed with marriage, wanting more affection, and wanting to make over the guy. Some of the reasons tend to match up - men dumping women for being too dependent and women dumping men for being too independent. I can easily see why a guy wouldn't want to be a girl with these traits.

Phidippides

2007-04-24T21:43:00.000-04:00

Last Friday, I went to Phidippides in Atlanta to buy some new running shoes. Normally, I just buy the cutest pair of New Balance around but after running 13.1 miles and wanting to get back into running and minimize my pain, I thought it was best to get some advice on running shoes. As soon as I walked in, someone offered to help me. First I jogged to the front of the store with my current shoes and the guy watched me. Somehow from the short jog, he knew that I tended to roll my foot in when I ran and we needed to correct that. I also filled him on some of my common injuries so he could figure out the best shoe for me. So from that point on, I think I tried on 8 pairs of shoes. I have never tried on that many. After trying each pair on, I narrowed the shoes down by puttong one shoe on one foot and a different one on the other and jogging through the store. I even swamped L to R a couple of times to try both sets of shoes. After all of that - probably 20 runs through the store - I settled on a Nike pair. I did tell the guy after awhile of trying on shoes that I was just going to pick the pretty ones - he thought this was entertainging. Of course I think every pair I tried on was some version of navy so they pretty much looked the same. Then the guy suggested going up a 1/2 size - who would have thought! So today, I wore my new size 9 Nike shoes for the first time tonight and they are great. My run was good and my feet felt awesome so from now on, I plan to go to a running store before I buy any shoes! I definitely recomment Phidippides - it is near the LA Fitness in Ansley Mall. The folks are very nice and it is a local store with one other location. They also sell the sports jelly beans and athletic clothes.

Unisex Bathrooms

2007-04-19T21:55:00.000-04:00

I know it has been awhile since I have posted but I have been busy and haven't had much inspiration. However, inspiration hit last night when I went to Cafe Asia for dinner with 2 male co-workers and 1 female co-worker. One of the males excused himself early on in the dinner to use the restroom. When he came back, he told us that the bathroom was unisex. I of course checked it out for myself and I will admit it was rather strange to round the corner and see a guy washing his hands as I was walking to the bathroom.

To be a little more descriptive and paint a better picture, here is what it looked like. The sink is like a trough - one long stainless steel sink with a lot of facets. All of the stalls have doors that go to the ground and have ceiling to floors walls. There are actually portals on the doors with etches of men or women. I think you can go in either because the stalls are the same but it does kind of force you to pick the girl or guy one depending on your gender.

The unisex bathroom challenges a lot of social norms like girls going to the bathroom in groups to talk/gossip about their dinner companions. I noted to one of my male co-workers that I could now ask him to go gossip in the bathroom. Of course that also leads to thoughts of the mile high club bathroom scene but it wouldn't exactly be mile high. Also if you think about what goes on in the bathroom, I am not sure I want to know what guys are doing and vice versa. So this unisex bathroom idea intrigued me. I thought it was interesting - not necessarily bad but an interestering experiment that challenges social norms. Thought I would share so you all could ponder.

1Q Update on the 29th Yr

2007-04-01T11:47:00.000-04:00

I thought I would post an updated on how I am doing on my 29 Things list. Some areas I am doing great, others are still at zero. So from the top down, here is where I stand.

1. Number of Flights - 25, it helps when you travel twice a week
2 Hrs of skiing - estimate 18 hrs but probably skied 29 miles
3. New Restaurants - 14
4. Ran 13.1 miles - not sure I am up for the 26!
5. Hrs spent on dates - 12, I am surprised it is this high, maybe I need to count in days:)
6. Cities - 9
7. Books - 6
8. Exercise more than 4 times a week - 5
7. Hrs of Community Service - 2
8. Donate - $150

And coming in at zero - Meeting new people (surely, I have met new people this is just hard to keep track of, even writing this I thought of 3 new people that I have met at work), Save (I have saved money but I may spend it so we will know at the end of the yr how this turns out), Play 29 holes of golf (this may not happen), Beach for 29 hrs (need to work on planning this), Cook 29 meals (I need to be at home to do this one), lose 29 lbs (that is probably too many but so far it is 6).

When God Winks on Love

2007-04-01T10:52:00.000-04:00

Yes, I just wrote a review on the book When God Winks and I followed that up with a more recently published book by SQuire Rushnell called When God Winks on Love. This book was filled with more examples of god winks in the love department - so definitely a book probably geared towards women. There were some good takeaways from the book which I decided to share in this review.

SQuire mentions that Love LAUGHS and the key to a sucessful relationship is Laughter, Appreciate, Understand, God, Honor, and Support.
Godwinks are like signposts - they don't tell you where to go, they just support that you are going in the right direction.
Start everyday with the expectation that it will be a good day, don't just hope that it will be a good day. This will change how you experience each day.

There are some other good points but I will leave it for you to find those when you read the book!

J. Paul's in Baltimore

2007-04-01T10:45:00.000-04:00

My parents and I ate at J.Paul's in Baltimore on the Inner Harbor. The area reminded us of a mix of Jacksonville, FL and Sydney, Australia. I don't think the folks in Australia would appreicate being compared to Baltimore - so instead of riding on a 22 hr plane ride, just head on up to Baltimore. Baltimore is known for their crab cakes and there are any number of places that have them in the Inner Harbor area. Some of those places are chains - McCormick and Schmidt's, Cheesecake Factory, The Oceanaire Seafood Room, Legal Seafood - so you can eat at most of these places throughout the US. So we hoped we picked a local chain by going to J.Paul's. They roped us in with a free appetizer coupon that we picked up at the Visitor Center. We got the crab cake slider appetizer - they looked like Krystal burgers but with a crab cake instead. Dad and I got the crab cake sandwich and Mom got the crab melt. All the food was excellent. And to distinguish themselves from other restaurants, the meal comes with a side of pretzels instead of the usual bread or rolls.

Review Time!

2007-03-25T16:36:00.000-04:00

I rented three movies this weekend - I was only going to rent 2 but when I was at Blockbuster, I couldn't decide so I just got all 3. Here is my review of those movies.

Casino Royale
Casino Royale was awesome. I wish I had gone to see it in the theatre. It had a better storyline than some of the Bond movies and it was action packed. It wasn't quite the predictable storyline of Bond gets bad guy and Bond gets girl although it did use that formula. I think this movie protrayed a different side of Bond. You see him care about a woman and fall in love with her, not just use her and go on to the next Bond girl in the next movie. I also like the plot better and thought the movie did a good job of using cool gadgets (ie the car with the defiblator). I would definitely buy this movie - it helps that Bond is hot and it has a good love story. The opening scenes in Uganda are kind of slow and you wonder if you are watching Spiderman as Bond chases a guy up a crane and through a building. I do love the shower scene where Bond is comforting Vesper - love it! This is definitely a must see movie.

The Holiday
I didn't have a lot of expectations going into this movie. I rented it so I could watch a romantic comedy and maybe have a few laughs. I think both the Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslett storylines were well done. I thought Cameron's storyline made me laugh and cry more and Kate's really touched me as she grew into her own skin. Kate's story mirrors my own past so I guess that hit home and Cameron's story just made me laugh (and cry!). This was definitely a feel good movie and I am glad I rented it.

Little Miss Sunshine
I really wasn't sure what to think going into this movie. I had a vague idea about what it was about and knew that it had gotten acclaim at the Sundance Film Festival (I think that is where it came from) and then was really popular. This is a good story about a family and how family's grow together. I must admit when the story began and when they were all sitting around eating dinner, I thought "why am I watching this when I could just have dinner with my own family - who happens to be very funny". But the story grew on me. I thought the message at the end was really good. One of my favorite quotes/themes was that life is really a beauty pageant. Everyone is trying to be the best - look their best, act their best - when really we should all just be ourselves. This was a good "message" type movie.

2:32:40

2007-03-25T14:04:00.000-04:00

That is how long it took me to run (and sometimes walk) 13.1 miles through Atlanta. It was a hot day, I am glad the race started at 7am! We go to see the sun come up at we were running through the 4th ward, then headed into the shady area of Inman Park, through Little Five, down Freedom Parkway (that is a lot of concrete and was very boring), through Va Highlands (always entertaining and also shady), through Piedmont Park (what a good idea!), around midtown (not sure why we looped Juniper) and then down Peachtree (or should I saw up Peachtree) to the finish line. I was glad to take part in the inaugural ING Half-Marathon in Atlanta. It feels like quite an accomplishment - especially to finish in 2:32:40 - I was hoping to be under 2:30 but was a little slow on Peachtree. There was a point during the race - mostly when I was on Peachtree - that I thought I might die. It was everything I could do to go past 14th, 13th, 12th, etc streets. I did put on the iPod about that time and it got me through to the finish line. The cheering crowds throughout the race definitely helped. I will say that I haven't felt just right all day which kind of stinks but the face that I can say that I ran 13.1 miles is kind of cool!

Freakonomics by Levitt and Dubner

2007-03-18T21:08:00.000-04:00

Freakonomics by Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner is a very entertaining intellectual read. The book doesn't really have a theme according to the authors and I would agree that there is not one common thread throughout the book. Each chapter could stand on it's own. The chapter titles themselves are very entertaining - Why do drug dealers still live with their mom? to What do school teachers and sumo wrestlers have in Common? The book attempts to look at every day questions and apply math to figure out causality or correlation. The book has supplied me with great work lunch conversations and has made me think outside the box on certain topics. For example, the authors explain the decline of crime on the legalization of abortion. This has proven to be a very controversial topic which surrounds the book. This argument at the very least leads one to realize that maybe we should dig deeper when given an explaination for a particular situation. Maybe the Brady Bill or more police doesn't really help reduce crime. Maybe there is something out there that happend 40 years ago that later caused crime to drop. So next time you hear the news or listen to a politician, stop and think about what they are saying and what really may be the cause of the problem. This is definitely a good read if you want to be entertained while learning something.

The Oceanaire Seafood Room

2007-03-05T20:13:00.000-05:00

I went to the Oceanaire Seafood Room this weekend in the ATL, it's roughly at 14th and Peachtree. It is actually a chain - but what isn't these days. The menu changes daily because they fly in fresh fish every day. We kind of took a tapas approach to the menu even though it isn't a tapas place. We had the shrimp and grits appetizer (too yummy!), crab cakes, spinach salad, and lobster bisque. Had I saved room, we would have had the baked alaska. They light it on fire and it looks really cool so I will have to do that next time. So if you are in need of a fancy place to take a date (the place is fancy but you can wear business casual or even casual), then this is your place. This is restaurant #12 in my New Places to Eat category. I am doing well in this area:)